Our expert says:
firstly, unless you have finally given up all those bad habits ( lying, cheating, drugs, etc ) don't go back to her --- she's already had more than she deserves or needs of that. Secondly, these ae isues which it is really important for you to discuss with your personal shrink --- it's never useful to withhold part o what's bothering you, from your shrink.
Thirdly, it seems to me you may be conflating two issues. One is yes, you probably do owe her an apology, and you might both feel better if you were able to give her one ( maybe even in writing ) ; separate is the issue of whether you two ought to get back together. It might be much easier, even if you have both learned valuable lessons, to get things right the next time round, in relationships with new people, than to get back together with a strong risk of repeating old bad habits.
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