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Question
Posted by: PaulBad | 2007/05/31

Me Again -- What to do

Hi, Last post was about 2 weeks ago... When Doc told me to go and see a Shrink with the chick who is messing with me etc...

Well this past sunday , She was chatting away on MXIT , and then one of the guys on Mxit called her.. She ran upstairs to chat.. I asked her who it was.. she exploded... saying it was no one. etc etc.. I asked her why she is on MXIT.. she said coz thats where she talks to a lot of facinating people... I asked her. what is she doing with me then.. she said she doesnt know.. I told her I love her. She said she cares for me.. and loves me in a dif way , She says I am like her Best Friend... her Rock etc...

It seems she wants to go and "do her own thing" ... but she says she cant afford to go and find a place of her own.. she makes more than I do , but yet I Pay the house , the petrol etc.. she just pays her car amd insurance and clothing accounts and cellphone... the tricky part of our relationship is ,,, she has a 6 year old daughter m who I raised from baby.. and it feels like its MY daughter... breaking up is hard to do .. but breaking up with a girl who has a daughter is even worse.. They are my life... ad I litterlay live for them.

She suggested we just become housemates .. but I know that would be very hard..

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Our expert says:
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This doesn't sound like a wholesome relationship that's going anywhere good, does it ? Isn't she just using you for a place to stay and a bloke to pay for things, while she mixits away ? For the mother of a 6=year-old she sounds deplorably irresponsible and selfish.

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Garys_ctn@yahoo | 2007/05/31

Gentlemen, I feel so sorry for you being used by these women. They are using you, plain and simple. I never knew that there are so many men that are abused by ungrateful women with children from previous relationships.

The only solution is to walk away. No! No! Do not walk away. In the state that you're all in you just are too attached you can't walk away without the magnetic fields drawing you back in. RUN!

RUN very fast and RUN very far!!

It is not going to be easier. I am sorry to us men for being such stupit.

Let me tell you something before you attempt to run:
=+ YOU HAVE CAUSED THE TREATMENT TO YOURSELVES

=+ YOU ARE WHERE YOU ARE TODAY BECAUSE OF THE CHOICES AND DECISIONS YOU MADE SOME TIME AGO -one of you said since a six year old was a baby

=+ YOU HAVE THOSE WOMEN BECAUSE YOU ATTRACTED THEIR KIND - BREAK THE PATTERN CYCLE NOW - maybe RUN!

= + YOU ARE DONE THAT INJUSTICE BECAUSE THAT IS THE KIND OF TREATMENT YOU ATTRACT TO YOURSELVES; BECAUSE YOU DO NOT VALUE YOURSELVES; BECAUSE YOU DO NOT LOVE YOURSELVES - otherwise why would you be sticking around?

= + EVN IF YOU THINK THAT YOU ARE GOING TO GET EVEN AND FIND ANOTHER GIRLFRIEND TO HURT OR MAKE HER JEALOUSEY, YOU WONT SUCCEED IF YOU HAVE NOT BROKEN THE CYCLE

= + it is your value system that set you where you are now. your upbringing. your socialisation. you then need to challenge your belief system, your roots and background to break this chain. Otherwise, even the sweet Carolina over there, is more likely to turn a raging bull once you get involved with. And do you know that the guy they run upstairs to MXit with is not a Wuss like you guys? The treat them rough, you treat them soft. they hate that. Hence they prefer these guys
They talk dirty to them. When list did you do that?


I suggest that before you RUN, seek some Cognitive Behavioural Therapy to question your thought processes -

"she has a 6 year old daughter m who I raised from baby.. and it feels like its MY daughter... breaking up is hard to do .. but breaking up with a girl who has a daughter is even worse.. They are my life... ad I litterlay live for them.

She suggested we just become housemates .. but I know that would be very hard.. "

It is your value system, your thought process that has put you into that mess. You care too much about others. Look at the above abstract, she decides for you that be housemates, what about what you wanted? what about what you want? What about how you feel? IT DOES NOT MATTER!!!

Reply to Garys_ctn@yahoo
Posted by: Paul (original) | 2007/05/31

Im in exactly the same boat as you, with having to come to terms with a breakup. She doesn't mxit (that I know of) but basically sees me as her friend. We bought a house together and all our finances are basically each others. her boy is 6 now and weve been together for most of his life cumulative (had a break in between) now she says she doesn't love me like a man and a woman should.

It sucks and the breakup is very very hard indeed.

Just to let you know, we are going through similar situations, youre not alone.

Reply to Paul (original)

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