Posted by: JADE | 2009/06/01


i had a date, the guy was nice but he rushed to touching me and i was very unkind to him, i didnt want to be used. he asked for my number. i didnt give him. he didnt return the next day. did he really like me or did he just want to get me into bed. i am 30 and he is 28.was i being too protective.

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Our expert says:
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Im a psychiatrist, not a mind-reader, Jade. Only this guy MIGHT be able to tell you, and he may well not even understand himself. SOunds like he was, for whatever reason, clumsy and in a hurry --- either expecting too much too soon and disrespecting you, or maybe actually inexperienced and clumsy. Perhaps you explained calmly to him that what he did felt like you were just being used, and that this was why you didn't want to see more of him. Anyway --- it was a DATE, some go well, some don't. You had every right to be self-protective and not to accept advances you found unwelcome.

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Our users say:
Posted by: BI | 2009/06/01

Maybe some guys expect sex... shame.
Anyway, if you are feeling pressurised it is much better to say something, even if you have to " push away"  firmly.
A date does not automatically meean sex. And you have every right to express your preferences.
Don' t feel bad. Stick to your guns. You' re all the better for being assertive, and if the guys cannot THAT, my crikey, what all won' t he be able to handle...?
Better luck next time  -)
There swims many fishes in the big wide ocean.

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