Posted by: Re: Debt | 2008/11/07



It' s me again. The one with a father in debt.

I just spoke to my sister about trying to organise a family meeting to try and sort the problem, and all she did was get angry at me making me feel guilty for not being willing to help my dad, like the way she does.

Then I called my brother out of frustration with the idea that I may be going through this month broke, and he also basically told me that I just have to deal with it and try and help them however I can, even if that means living small.

I know my parents are in huge problems, and that they need our help. Am I being selfish?

My husband earns fairly well. He has contributed a lot to my parents to help them out. My brother says that if I' m stuck, I should just ask my hubby for cash. I don' t agree with that. He has done more than his bit to help my parents. He works extremely hard for his money and has every right to enjoy every last cent of it. He works through the nights, on weekends, etc. Why should he sacrifice living a good life, going on holidays, buying expensive gadgets, spoiling himself with his hard earned and well-deserved money for me to help my parents?

Or am I just being selfish?

My siblings and their husbands and wives all seem to agree on helping them out. Why am I the only one who doesn' t feel that way?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

What selfish responses from your brother and sister ! They are ignoring your problem, which they should want to help with, and just dumping it all back on your lap. Tell them you can no longer afford to fund your father, and will have to stop doing so from this month, and leave it entirely to them, as they refused to work with you to try to find a better solution. Your parents MUST, repeat MUST take full responsibility for the problems they have chosen to get themselves into, and not act as though it was somehow your fault.
You and your husband take care of yourselves, and if and when you can find yourselves able to afford to spare any fuinding for your parents, that's fine, but that should be a bonus for them, not a necessity

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Our users say:
Posted by: Max | 2008/11/07

Thank you CS. I really appreciate your help...I think I' m going to start doing that from now on. I refuse to make my husband responsible for anything - even though he could probably afford it - it' s not his responsibility.

One day when I can afford to lend more help, I will. But for now, it' s no.

Thank you.

Reply to Max

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