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Question
Posted by: Jenna | 2004/10/22

Masturbation

Hi
I always suspected my 12 years old son of masturbating.I would sometimes see sperm traces on his underwear or his underwear went missing & was not in the wash.I would also find sperm marks on his bed sheets.Last night at about 11pm i to went fetch something from his room & when i walked in i could see a buldge under the blankets.I pretented as if i did not see but then being curious i pulled the blankets off;catching him on the act with his hands stroking his prick.Please advise me what 2 do or how i should deal with this situation.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageTeen expert

Dear Jenna,

It sounds as if you are concerned about your son masturbating, but this is a very normal thing for him to be doing. There are certain things that a young person needs to keep private from their parents and this is one of them! The best option is to not mention it at all, and begin to start thinking about how you can respect his privacy.
Forcibly invading a young person's privacy will make them increasingly secretive. Pulling the covers off him was a very intrusive and inappropriate thing to do, and should never be repeated!! You say you were curious but surely you are old enough to know what the bulge under the covers was going to be?

If he suspects you disapprove this may make him feel ashamed and uncomfortable about sexual activity in the future which will make life very difficult for him.

Rule 1, knock on his door and just as important wait for a reply before walking in on him.

Your son has done nothing wrong. If he mentions it (which he is probably too embarrased to do), I suggest you apologise to him.

In this regard he is entitled to his privacy, please respect that.



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Our users say:
Posted by: JT | 2004/10/22

Dear Mom!

Just Leave your son alone, you have embarrassed him!
Just forget about it, it is normal for kids to masturbate at that age.
Act naturally and don't mention anything to him.

And remember knock on his door, before going in - a kid needs his privacy

JT

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