Our expert says:
One should never give in to a "thing", Sweetie. If you have a troubled marriage, either recruit your husband into marriage counselling and see if the troubles can be fixed, or plan a separation, but an affair, especially with someone much of whose attractiveness comes from NOT appearing to be part of the marriage problems, doesn't solve anything, and usually brings more grief all round. If he has been unfaithful and hostile, don't sink to his level. If he has become HIV+ through the afair, this endangers your life, that is monumentally selfish and uncaring of him, and adds to the groudns for potential divorce. And if he refuses counselling, that adds further to those groudns. Protect yourself
Remember, the main reason we caution about acting on crushes, especially on the rebound, isn't out of prudishness, but because when your current relationship is really unhappy, someone else who is even slightly kinder to you may seem exaggeratedly marvellous, and you seriously risk falling into a what will ultimately be a similarly misrable relationship. Take your time, and heal yourself, before deciding on any further relationship after this marriage
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