Posted by: Helpless | 2003/03/28

Married but confused

This year I will be married for three years I love my husband but not sure if he does he used to smoke mandrax but stopped for three months now all of a sudden smoking again and I am pregnant with our second child now he says I must get rid of the child I do not understand both of us are working is this depression or what or is it a sick joke cause he then wanted a second child so badly cause our eldest daughter is turning five.

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Our expert says:
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Dear Helpless,
When you think about it, none of us can answer the question, as we don't know your husband. If he earlier made it clear that he wanted a second child, and has now suddenly announced that he doesn't, I understand that the change in attitude is puzzling and alarming for you.
The only way your question can be answered, is in discussion with him. If his attitude has changed, what else has changed in his life ? Has he been facing troubles or insecurity in his job ? Are there other family problems or new commitments ? What other factors may have made him feel more insecure, less confident, and less able to provide both emotionally and financially, for a further child he once wanted ? If he had really formed excellent reasons for not wanting a second child, it was profoundly irresponsible of him to enable you to become pregnant again.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: carolb | 2003/03/29

I have a good marriage website I can email you you can print it out
contact me on and I will give it to you


Reply to carolb
Posted by: Helpless | 2003/03/28

Thanks it really means alot to me cause as my friend all lead this so called normal lives without any problems it is difficult to talk to them.Now at least there is someone who understands it really means alot to me.

Reply to Helpless
Posted by: Baby Blue | 2003/03/28

Hi Helpless

Don't get rid of the baby. You'll never forgive yourself whether you stay together or not.

I'm in the same situation as you are except I'm not married when my b/f found out I was pregnant he threatend to take me for an abortion, well I told him where to go. I love him very much But am not sure how he feels about me once I did but in all honesty now I wouldn't be able to tell I feel like I've been living with a stranger all this time. My unborn baby is worth alot more to me than anything else even him. His not worth my childs life.

I know how you feel and I understand where you coming from and I wish I had a solution to both our problems. But the best I can do is let you know that if you ever need to talk I'm here to listen.

Good Luck

Reply to Baby Blue

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