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Question
Posted by: Just Wondering | 2007/07/19

MARRIAGE STRONG ENOUGH FOR A BABY?

How do you know your marriage is strong enough to cope with a baby - emotionally. You hear of so many marriages going downhill after the birth of a baby. Is there any way in which a couple can "test" the strenght of their marriage, before deciding to start a family? Starting a family is a very serious matter, but so is our marriage. We would not want to have a baby and put our marriage at risk because we were not ready yet. Can you give us some advice, please?

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Our expert says:
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Its not an abstract "marriage" that must cope --- but the wife / mother and the husband / father must each be able to handle the ideas and the work of parenting, separately and together. Talk it through together, perhaps with the aid of a marriage counsellor, first.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Chelle | 2007/07/19

There is never a certainty in anything of this nature, but the best thing to do is to understand fully what you're getting into - together. Discuss beforehand what your roles would be and what you'd expect from each other. Once you've committed to those roles and discussed your expectations then at least you both will have a better understanding of each other.

The problem though is that one can never anticipate all eventualities and things change - work stressed, financial stress etc can bring out the worst in people - so never be fooled into thinking that there won't be any conflict at any time, but rather discuss now how you'll go about resolving any conflict that arises.

Reply to Chelle
Posted by: L | 2007/07/19

Darling, Just to give you an advice as a young parent there will never a "ready" time to have a baby. Most marriages have challenges(with or without a baby) but you and your patner have to work it through.

Finances are the only thing I can advise you to work out on before you consider a baby option, coz a baby can costs a lot of money if you want to give him/her the best.

As for waiting for the marriage to be perfect before having a baby , Think twice....!

Reply to L

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