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Question
Posted by: SAMMY | 2007/05/11

Marriage problems

I have been married for 13 years have 1child. My husband and I like normal couples have been having our problems but we normally get over it. But recently I think he is pushing me too far
He was diagnosed with a heart problem and need to loose weight. I cook, clean, iron and see to my daughter & husband and also hold a 8 hour job. My husbands demands are becoming too much to handle. He complain about the cloths I iron, the lunch I make the supper I prepare. If I am sick I must be better I cannot be tired. He would not tell me what to cook. I even do the shopping. I dont know if its normal for a husband and wife to go 50% on everything. But thats the way my husband is. These are some of my problem I think I can go on. Is there anyone that can reassure me if that is normal married life or are these signs of trouble.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

If he dislikes the way you iron his clothes, of course he is entirely free to iron them himself, or pay extra for someone else to do the ironing. If he doesn't like the food you cook, well, he's free to cook for himself. Maybe he's reacting badly to his heart problem, but he is clearly being unreasonable. Can you persuade him to join you in marriage counselling, to see what can be sorted out between you ?

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: sammy | 2007/05/11

Thank you CS.

Reply to sammy
Posted by: Shae | 2007/05/11

Going dutch (50%) is fine, but thats got to extend to all things, including the cleaning, ironing etc. It seems he is wanting to enjoy the benefits of a traditional husband/ wife relationship where the woman does all the housework, whilst at the same time wanting to reap the rewards of a modern husband/wife relationship financially.

Plus. doing some house chores might even hell him loose some weight. Didt i hear somewhere that being moderately active is recommended to people who have heart ailments?

Reply to Shae

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