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Question
Posted by: hubbie | 2007/03/30

marriage partners

I am still going out with the blond older lady I have written about on a previous occassion. We speak to each other at least 3 times daily(be it business or personal matters)
We eat out once every 2 weeks. Our sex life is non existent despite the fact that we hug and kiss on average 3 times per week. I am always available and help her where I can. The financial spin offs directly linked to me for her are excellent.I fear going out with her as there is no intimacy afterwards. I also feel that I revolt her and am definitely not high on her list of priorities.IThere is no joy being without friends etc. I go home to an empty house every day of my life and I do fear growing old on my own. I do not really know what to do as I care for this person and do not know if I am overly sensitive. The project I am busy with is my last as I will retire afterwards. Maybe this will put her to the test.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Hi hubie,
I very strongly doubt that you "revolt her" --- there are many reasons why a person either generally is not especially fond of sex, or why they may go through a period of loss of libido and interest in sexual activities --- so the lack of physical warmth you have been encountering is likely to be due to problems she is experiencing, and unlikely to be about you as such.
Have you discussed any of this with her ? And if so, what does she say about it ?
I think a very significant aspect lies in your last comment about how your retirement "will put her to the test". In my experience it can be very difficult for rich and powerful people to feel sure whether someone else likes or loves them in a genuine manner, or whether the person loves their money or what you can do for them.
Anon's take on this sort of situation makes a lot of sense. Need you be so profitable for this woman ? Are you hesitant to turn off the tap for fear of discovering that this might be her principle motivation ?
Whatever her motives, there are other people who will enjoy your company, if you give yourself the chances to met them.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Anon | 2007/03/30

Your relationship is still pretty new is'nt it? Already, there are intimacy problems - obviously there is a problem - my take on it is that she is using you for monetary gain (sorry to be so frank) - I am in the same boat as you, only I have'nt even met anybody since coming out of a relationship 2 years ago. I get so many people telling me that I am a good looking woman, settled etc. how can I not have anybody in my life - It is my choice - I am also scared of growing old alone, but I'd rather be on my own and relatively "content" than having to deal with the stuff you are dealing with. Why dont you take a step back and see what she does? By the way, where do you reside?

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