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Question
Posted by: sad | 2005/07/29

Marriage over

I am having a hard time accepting that my husband and I are getting divorced. I think that he wants the divorce more than me and i just can seem to accept that my family (2 small kids) will be split and my children will be without their dad. I wish there was some way i could get over the constant crying etc I hear a love song on the radio and i start balling my eyes out. This is so hard for me how can i be strong and move on?

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Our expert says:
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If it was a real marriage, then understandably one would take some time to adjust to the idea that it's over. Have you two tried sincerely working together in marriage counselling ? hat can either fix what can be fixed, or at least let you both adjust to the inevitable

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Our users say:
Posted by: sad | 2005/07/29

Thanks to everyone for your responces, I know that I must be strong for my children. Thanks God Bless!!!

Reply to sad
Posted by: lady nina | 2005/07/29

hi girl

it's normal to cry, in fact it's good to cry ... you cry all you need girl

crying is the best thing you can do at the moment - don't fight it
divorce has many stages and the quikest and easiest way to get thru is is to walk ( or crawl) thru each stage and not try and take a sort cut by avoiding certain stages

you need to go thru all the emotions before you will feel better
emotional like anger, fear, sadness, loneliness .... is all part of the road to healing , don't feel quilty for feelin the way you do, it's normal!

can't you find a support group? i see they advertize a "divorce care" support group in centurion - i went thru the course and it help me a lot to understand the dinamics behind all my emotions

take care of yourself you need to be strong for the kids

nina

Reply to lady nina
Posted by: Buzz | 2005/07/29

I'm sorry to hear your sad news. Your feelings of sadness and crying, are normal and necessary in order to heal and then get on with your life, don't deny these feelings. Spend quality time with your children, to many their children could be a burden during divorce, but for me my children were my anchor and compass, they inspired me to heal and carve a better life for all of us. Believe me, there is life after divorce! All the best.

Reply to Buzz
Posted by: Sad too | 2005/07/29

Be strong.I am male with two boys.They are staying with me.It is very hard i know!God will look after you.Dont worry.Things WILL get better.

Reply to Sad too
Posted by: Jass | 2005/07/29

Hi, so sorry to hear. If you think theres any chance of reviving your marriage why dont you & your husband see a marriage counsilor - even if he wants the divorce more than you-he has got to remember that your kids have the right to a proper family lifestyle and should try to make things work. Divorce is not the only solution. You dont say what lead to the divorce but it is up to you if you hurtin and want to save your marriage and you know that it is worth fighting for then take the first step to fight for it. Good-Luck. God Bless

Reply to Jass
Posted by: friend | 2005/07/29

Am sorry to hear, I know what you mean as I was in the same boat 6 years ago with two small kids. I ploughed all my energy into my little ones and tried to be strong for them as they were also so confused. It is difficult..but hang in there

Time is a healer of all tho sad.....

Reply to friend
Posted by: A new beginning.. | 2005/07/29

Oh dear,

I am sorry that you are going through a divorce.
Yes, its gonna be tough, especially with little kids...
Are you sure that you and your husband have tried everything possible to FIX your marriage.
You obviously still love him....so what went wrong?

If there really is not any chance that you guys can avoid a divorce, you need to pull yourself together, at least for the sake of the little ones,
Spend lots of time with them as i am sure they are insecure and confused right now...
Try and go out a little, spend time with friends and family.
Get all the support you need....
Its only natural to feel sad and emotional.....

I wish i could say something more....to help u feel better..
Take care,
Be strong....
:)

Reply to A new beginning..

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