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Question
Posted by: panicked | 2006/04/04

marriage in crisis

After 14 years my husband has decided our marriage has fallen apart and has no chance of improving due to us having 'irreconsilable differences" My fustration with an unfilling job and scarcity of other jobs in my line of interest brings me down which leads to me being withdrawn which causes my husband to distance himself from me even further. These fustrations are fuelled even more with him spending up to 12 hours a day over weekends in front of the TV and keeping me awake with his snoring which has led to us spending most nights in different beds. We have been through downs because of these issues before but this time there does not seem to be a light at the end of the tunnel. I just cant bring myself to give up on a 14 year relationship with someone who I love dearly inspite of our problems. I just dont have any solutions as to how to make things ok again. Any suggestions???

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Our expert says:
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I think courts ought to routinely refuse to acept any claims of "irreconcilable differences" unless the couple can prove that they both sincerely worked within marriage counselling to seek to reconcile whatever differences there were. What you describe in the relationship would be uncomfortable, but hardly unreconcilable. Maybe you'll need to consult a good local lawyer to press him towards seeing things in the same light as you

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