Posted by: heartbroken | 2008/01/23

marriage & his family im so sad

I wanna be his wife he wants to get married too but his family, he is respondsible although he is only 21 & me 24 imagine you being in my shoes his parents dislike me because of religion & my age I believe in doing things the right way & being good but it hurts like hell when these people dont want me around yet they dont even take the time to get to know me. I dont want to choose the cowards way out by forcing them to accept us or by getting pregnant for 2 years I have been side lined, these people treat me like im inferior & yet elsewhere im loved & respected I even come from a good home my parents very decent & well respected & I believe in morals & values Ive done alot of good in their sons life I made him respondsible & I made him respect them 2 but still they treat me like an outcast even around people & family members. I feel like somethings wrong with me & im not good enough it hurts so much that i cry about it.That is why im so anxious to get married because I feel like his family will rob me of a future with him & We are so in love things are great I dont want to loose what I have with him the 2 years that Ive been with him have been fantastic we only fight when we speak about his mum. I just cant take it anymore it hurts too much.

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Our expert says:
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If he feels in any way responsible for cariong to some extent for his family, that's noble of him --- but if they are receiving any form of help from him, they have no right to interfere with his mariage plans --- its probably largely or entirely selfish, as they're scared there'll be less time and money for them, if he gets married --- and such selfishness never deserves respect.
Stick to your own and your family's good principles and standards, and don't allow his family to dictate your life or his. Maybe some couples / relationship counselling together would benefit both of you ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: heartbroken | 2008/01/23

He does stand up for me, the last time him & his mum ended up in a huge fight because of her "hiding me" when she had guest over. Its not like there is anything wrong with me in fact he is so insecure when other guys look at me but this woman just keeps on doing this to me, when she comes over to my parents home she treats me well but when her family is around she acts as if i should just disappear its like her family controls her life... im so sick of being treated unfair I earned their respect & I deserve it up till today Ive never been disrespectful or rude to her after all she did to me.

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Posted by: Really | 2008/01/23

When his family show their dislike for you or do something to upset you, does your boyfriend support you and tell his family to leave you alone, or does he not take sides at all? Are you left to defend yourself? Have you asked his family exactly why they behave the way they do towards you? I am asking these questions as I was in a similar position, my man never stood up for me and to his family, this meant that he believed they were right and I was wrong! So they continued to belittle me and whatever I did was wrong in their eyes! We are no longer together.........

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