Posted by: Cachup | 2008/09/25


We are both happy in this marriage, until an issue with the extended family comes up.
my brother has not done anything wrong to him(well just one incident where he did not return the money he borrowed in time)but he does not like him. If i ask him he says that my brother does not respect him and all the things he' s doing. I' ve tried to explain that him(my husband) as a very strict and traditional as he is, he must not expect everyone to live the strict life he lives. He must allow some people to be who they want to be.

Not forgeting that his sisters and brother are far worse than my brother. he is the one who is always trying to make peace with everyone in his family, this one is fighting with this one, they don' t take care of their mother, it is our responsibility(not having a problem with that she is my mother-in-law)but now my husband expect me to take care of them. And they don' t help me at all, just to be there. Their father passed away last year, it was my responsibility financially because i had him covered,what are they doing with their money, why don' t they join policies, they just came in the last minute and left the following day.

Recently we had an unveiling of my father-in-law' s tombstone and the retual cleansing of my mother-in-law and they did the same as they did in the funeral, what kind of a family is that. they borrow money and they don' t bring it back.

This morning i told my husband that from now on myresponsibility will be my family and his mother and my mother and no one else.

Am i overracting?

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Our expert says:
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I don't think you are over-reacting. Sounds more as though your husband is under=reacting to his family's meanness, and perhaps over-reacting to some minor error by your brother. Could you persuade him to join you in marriage counselling ?

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