Posted by: ally | 2009/01/23


Hi what happens if ur sex life is dead?we have been married for only two years now...but he hardly kisses me,even if i do he feels bored.he sleeps far away from me..even touching is like chrismas with him..when ever he want to have sex...he just climbs over me even if am not really n when he is done thats it..he sleep,he doesnt care how i feel..i have tried to talk to him about this but he says i like this he is not willing to do all those things i want...he makes me feel dirty all the time when he does that to me..everyday i tell myself am not gonna do it but i just give in hopig it will change..what can this been and what should i do..we were married in the church n never had sexual contact before..he is no a loving person at all..we hardly even talk to each other...he comes to bed after 12 at night when am sleeping already..sometimes he even sleeps in the lounge...

i feel so misserable, please help...

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Our expert says:
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Marriage counselling is clearly needed. Many men are just not romantic by nature, and stop trying to simulate it after they're married. Sounds like he may have significant problems with intimacy and with sex, and it may become clear in marriage counselling that he needs individual counselling as well. DOn't make him feel threatened, but he can't be happy, the way you describe him

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Our users say:
Posted by: Whats wrong with these guys ? | 2009/01/23

Hi Girls. Gee whats with these guys. Why is it that we always seem to end up with the " wrong"  partners ? For every one of you who is able and more than willing, you are stuck with someone who is " turned off"  There are just as many guys who find themselves in the same boat ,with their wives who are " too tired"  or have a " headache" . Just imagine the fun we would all have had if we had met each other first. Vibrators indeed !! Cheers girls and good luck !

Reply to Whats wrong with these guys ?
Posted by: Anon | 2009/01/23

If I dont inniciate (Spelling) sex then I wont get any!!!!
I did ask my husband about this and he said he really enjoys it when I iniciate. He also said that if he makes the first move , there is a chance of rejection and he hates that.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Painful | 2009/01/23

Im married for 4 years and that is the situation with me too. I always have to initiate it. I think its important to address this issue immediately profesionally before it leads to immorality. I' ve been in a situation where I could have started an affair with someone else cause it got so bad due to him making me feel ugly and worthless but luckily nothing happened because i could manage to walk away before anything physical happened. Spent many nights crying myself to sleep because he just does not want to do it. Cant really give advise but I know how much it hurts when you as a wife faces rejection. I' ve even spent money on a vibrator because I love him alot and dont want to seek intimacy bu someone else! Good luck!

Reply to Painful
Posted by: same here | 2009/01/23

I' ve been married for three years and your hubby is just the same as mine. I have not heard the words " I love you"  since the beginning of this year. And I love him very much and not ready for divorce.

Reply to same here

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