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Question
Posted by: KIE | 2008/01/22

MARRIAGE

i 27 yrs, i have been secretly married for almost 2 yrs now, only me and hubby knw oh! and our witnesses coz we got married at home affairs. we secretly got married for certain reasons, we do love each other and will get married officially someday.......my problem is im i have always been those type of woman who never wanted to get married or have kids because of fear or seeing other relationships failing around me, now i think i made a big mistake and try to find fault in everything my hubby does. if he receives a call or an sms i panick thinking he's cheating, i dont trust him, even though he hasnt given me much reasons not ot trust him. we have been together for almost 6 yrs now, i have never cheated, always been commited to the relationship, but marriage and kids, scare me...... what is wrong with me, how can i learn to trust and be happy? you help is much appreciated......thankx in advance.

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Our expert says:
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Well, from the sound of it the marriage is official enough, but presumably you mean you will one day get married publically. You seem to be saying that you have troubling fears and concerns which can disturb the marriage --- why not see a good local marriage counsellor together and sort this all out ? Maybe through FAMSA. IF you've been together now for 6 years, with neither of you cheating, its hardly likely to happen, but the fear of it is making you far more miserable than you deserve to be.

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