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Question
Posted by: helen | 2007/05/16

marriage

i got married on the rebound and i am currently for the past 5years having an affair with the person i was involved with before i got married
we love each other more than our spouses, but because of our committments staying with them, i really dont know what to do anymore

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Our expert says:
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Which of you has any committment to anything ? You have both been cheating your spouses for 5 years --- what is it you feel you ar ecommitted to, other than cheating ? Stop bemoaning the mistake you apparently think BOTH of you made way back --- pu things right now. Both of you admit to your spouses what is happening, seek a proper divorce, care for them and the children involved, and then marry each other and make the relationship honest.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Joy | 2007/05/17

well change it now for goodness sake!!

Reply to Joy
Posted by: helen | 2007/05/17

yes i do realise i am wrong in what i am doing, and if i could go back and change the clock i would

Reply to helen
Posted by: Joy | 2007/05/17

Live your truth and leave your husband and ask your 'ex' man to leave his wife! This deception and all the lies you've been telling isnt benefiting ANY of you! Stop playing with these people lives and feelings and let them go! Its been 5 years!!
The least you can do is allow those people you are betraying a chance at happiness instead of having them tag along oblivious to whats going on!
You really disgust me, but this is about as nice as i'm gonna be to you! My heart would break knowing my man's been cheating, just cheating...but cheating on me for 5 years??!!!
I swear, someone would have to die, and its not gonna be me!

Reply to Joy
Posted by: Fora | 2007/05/16

Tell the man the truth. U must remember u will have to get old with him, and that's a long way to go. Let him be free and he will find a person who will really love him. Honesty is the best policy.

Reply to Fora
Posted by: kim | 2007/05/16

everyone has their reasons at the time as to why they do things but with time you realise what you want or what makes you happy and all i can say is that everyone needs to be happy but everyone needs to be honest and true to the people that they are with. it is hard and it will be a huge hurdle to tackle but leave your husband and follow your dreams dont cheat on him because that is just wrong. you are an adult and you can make your own decisions dont care what people think as long as you are being honest.

Reply to kim
Posted by: J | 2007/05/16

Helen, if he had "true colours" to show in a negative way, why don't you rather call it a day with your marriage?

Reply to J
Posted by: helen | 2007/05/16

hi kim
yes i do feel guilty, but only somone in my position will know what it feels like, you probably married the man in ur dreams, i didnt,,,, i had to marry someone my parents were happy with until they found out his true colours after our marriage....
i did it to please my parents, would you have done something like that!!!!

Reply to helen
Posted by: kim | 2007/05/16

what committment if you are having an affair? committment in marriage is being with your husband or wife till death do you part. you dont know what to do anymore - is the guilt catching up with you

Reply to kim

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