Our expert says:
Dear chopper, Don't worry about the spelling errors --- I'm English and battling to persuade my fingers to get used to a new keyboard, which is not translating what I think I've typed into words that look like they should !
I'm wondering whether these concerns have been presnt throughout the seven years of your marriage, or have recently developed. If the latter, then one wonders what may have happened more recently to increase these concerns of yours.
The experience of abuse can have widely varying effects, and these can include problems with intimacy and dificulty in handling agression from others. These matters can be dealt with effectively in psychotherapy / counselling, if one sees an experienced shrink --- preferably not someone who focusses entirely on problems following abuse, but with someone who can keep things in better proportion, and concentrates not mainly on pointless archaeological digging for many details of the past, but rather focusses on your current problems in the here-and-now, and helps you fnd better ways of coping, and working through the issues so that you can enjoy intimacy with your wife, and appreciate the love you deserve.
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