Our expert says:
Nothing about this marriage sounds promising. You didn't know each other well to start with, and its not clear why he so suddenly wanted to rush into marriage - especially if he had no intention of giving up the other women he played with, or would resent the perfectly reasonable expectation that he should do so. Pregnancy was avoidable, and its not clear why either of you chose this option.
Apparently he continued to cheat on you throughout, and you seem to have accepted this, and to have stopped complaining about it. Then another pregnancy and another major affair. "Apologising" doesn't really make up for this long and persistent practise of infidelity.
NOBODY alive has ever or will ever send messages to other women "just to make them feel nice" - and I'll bet he never took care to send such cheery messages to awfully ugly women who might deserve some cheering up from this charitable cheerer upper, but that he only sent these kind gifts to the sort of women he would enjoy sleeping with. Or maybe already had.
He is absolutely NOT " a very responsible man" in any of the usual meanings of those words, but maybe he is responsible in regard to helping you care for the children ?
See a marriage counsellor together to see if this can be fixed, though I very much doubt it, as he seems happy to cheat and lie about it, and to be selfish and immature, and you seem largely content to accept his lies and excuses. At least counseling could help you decide more wisely what to do about this, and perhaps to separate with him paying maintenance and visiting the kids, as the decisions have to be based on what would be best for the children
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