Our expert says:
Welcome for your first post after apparently years of lurking with your exquisite good taste !
Obviously it says something good about your husband that he is so concerned to care for his child, although it seems very clear that the mother has chosen to take the lazy route and exploit the situation to please herself. I wonder, if the amount of maintenance were to be decided in a court, whether it would be a smaller amount and with a clearly stated expectation that the mother should seek work and at least support herself.
For him to be available IN EMERGENCIES to assist, such as if the child is ill, is fine - to be running around when the mother calls, and wants a light-bulb changed, is less fine. Its a matter of proportion, isn't it ? From your description it sounds as though the mother is being neglectful, and maybe this needs to be looked into, even by Child Welfare. It sounds as though the expenditure of money and time by yourselves would be hardly any more if the child left his mother's "care" and came to live with you, and at least that would make it clear that the woman would have to actually care for and support herself.
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