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Posted by: Joan | 2007/05/21

man with issues again please help?

Hi Guys yes its me again, my man lost his job again, one week after we moved into our new apartment, i don't earn much working three jobs and just not getting to pay anything its going on 2 months that he is sitting at home now, the worst part is when i get home he hasn't done a single thing, i get home and still have to clean up, do washing, make supper etc. when i bring up the subject about work he gets cross with me starts slamming things and ignores me point blank, he has borrowed a playstation from the neighbour and thats all he does saturday night he only came to bed at 6 in the morning. He complains that we have to sit at home all weekend cos there is no money, but i can't get another job i'm barely coping with what i'm doing now. How can i convince him to go out and find work he plays these stupid games all day and all night and if i ask to watch TV he gets all cross its like his hipnotised whats happened to him, please help me i feel like i'm falling apart there are days where don't even have food in the house but he doesn't care, how do i get it in to his brain that we are getting into deeper and deeper financial trouble with him not working, i have to do it in a very subtle way with out him getting cross cos as soon as he gets cross i close up and put myself in a cupboard. Please Please help me i'm desperate.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

He doesn't work, doesn'\t bother to find a job, and sits around all day expecting you to do ALL the work around the house ? Surely he needs an urgent ultimatum --- UNTIL he gets a good job ( after which he will SHARE the tasks round the home fairly with you ) he does ALL the work around the home. Sounds like he's given up trying and is just vegetating, and needs a good shake-up to get him going again

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: great oba | 2013/06/22

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Reply to great oba
Posted by: Anonymous | 2013/06/22

IT'S TIME TO GET WHAT YOU DESIRED (Greatobaspelltemple@gmail.com) 1. I want my ex back 2. i want my spouse to love me more 3. i want to be a celebrity 4. i want my business to grow excessively 5. i want to get rich 6. i want to be honorably good academically. 7 .i want to stop drugs 8. how to get a desired life partner 9. I WANT to gain or loss weight / height Its your opportunity to achieve all that you desire, restore back your love & pride with the help of anointed GREAT OBA. on Greatobaspelltemple@gmail.com. Your best time is now.....do not miss this opproyunity

Reply to Anonymous
Posted by: CP MOM | 2007/05/22

Oh and why are you cleaning after him ? Again are you his mother ?

Get home do YOURS only and make supper for YOU only and clean YOUR stuff ect....let him rant and rave...let him be cross.....tough love darling tough love.

Reply to CP MOM
Posted by: CP MOM | 2007/05/22

You love this man dearly ? I ask you DOES HE LOVE YOU .....
I had a husband like that, I could even know before hand when he was going to resign....could see the signs and I knew what was comming. He promised me once that when he turns 30 and he's no settled (he needed to find the right job always ect) then he'll take any job I tell him to and never have stories, I just need to give him till he's 30. 30 came and gone...nothing changed. I divorced him.

Today he's 42, remarried and when his wife phones me to complain about maintenance and why he can't pay I smile and think it could be me now 10 years later.....

He WILL not change Joan - you are sooooo wasting your life and time and money on this man.

Why do you want to find him work? Are you his mother?

I rented a small place (a glorified maids room) for me and Ne and I told him he aint comming with as I've got what I alone can afford and Im not supporting him and his gambling and and and anymore!

Funny how this type of guy's are always "jolling" and moaning about not having "fun" yet they expect us to supply it to them, and they always have this thing that life owes them....

In anycase until the day I moved he did not believe me. The day came I moved and he was left in an empty house (I took everything except his hi-fi and clothes) that was all he ever bought with his own money everything else I bought and paid for. He stayed in the empty house for a week until he had to be out on the 1st, he ate at family and friends until he realized that he's game is up. He then came to my door asking for money for a bus ticket to his parents in Bloemfontein. At which time i phoned them and told them to pay the money into my account so I can buy him a ticket as I will not pay a sent for him anymore.

I've never seen him since accept in the maintenance court......

I had a difficult 2 years but you'd be supprised at the people who help you once you kick a guy like this's arse!

Reply to CP MOM
Posted by: Blondie.. | 2007/05/21

There is a better life out there FOR YOU..stop worrying about everyone else..I'm sure you step dad will understand, I mean he's also got your best interest at heart..

This man wants someone to mother him, what kind of adult is he to rationalize his laziness by saying 'what will be will be', that is not the case...nothing NOT A THING happens without hard work. He will always drag you down and why should he change? He's living a royal life, with his girlfriend always doing al the worrying and providing him with all he needs.

You are gonna be old way before your time...

Reply to Blondie..
Posted by: Joan | 2007/05/21

He gets fired everytime cos he can't deal with authority, thats the problem with us as well he can't deal with the fact when people tell him he does things wrong or tell him what to do.

I love this man dearly i really do i just want him to find work so that i wont have so much pressure on me. He doesn't even make an effort i send his CV away to places and they phone him for interview and he says he can't go cos there is no petrol n the car. I'm at breaking point and my dad just wants me to move back to Joburg he said he will help me find work, but what about my step dad his been helping me out with money here and there and the deposit for the new flat i owe him alot of money and i will feel like i'm dropping him, i can't do that, i don't even wanna go home anymore i wish i could just go home and we could swop places for a week just one week so he could feel what it feels like.
And he says i musn't worry what will be will be but i can't help it i'm shortr to pay the rent, i worry what i can make for supper i worry all the time and if i try to speak to him he freaks out.............and i feel i just can't anymore. Somethings gotta happen

Reply to Joan
Posted by: Blondie.. | 2007/05/21

Joan,

Why are you still with him - you have been through the same immature pattern so many times. Him not working, not caring, playing games, you doing everything, not having food in the house...

When are you going to make a life changing decision and realize once and for all that you are too good for him and move on.

He will always be the person you fell in love with when things are running smoothly, but as soon as the #### hits the fan he dumps all the worries on your shoulders. Don't you know that the man is supposed to strive to care for his woman no matter what happens? I feel so sorry for you, why? - because everytime things go wrong (from his side!!) you'll be left alone. You are gonna lead a very very lonely and sad life with this man.

How did he lose his job?

Reply to Blondie..
Posted by: Gill | 2007/05/21

DUMP HIS ASS >>>>>>>>>>>>>

Reply to Gill

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