Posted by: Joan | 2007/03/06

man with issues!!!!!

Can anyone give me advice on how to deal with this one?Things have been going well between us for a while now, my man found a job not earning much, but while he was working there he found another job earning double what he was earning, he starts today, but our car ( The Anglia ) started giving trouble with starting on the weekend so i took it to the mechanic across from my work yesterday and when i went to fetch the car at lunch time he said there is nothing wrong with the car and he is not going to fix something that isn't broken. I went home told my man and he said it is impossible for the car to just fix itself, i said i know but it did. Now he is accussing me of the most aweful things something i would never do in my life, He said to me what did i do to make him fix the car for free. I told him the whole story what we said word for word and he still doesn't beleive me. he ignored me the whole night and this morning what do i do know i don't wanna have my life like this i tries speaking to him and he wont listen, last night when we got into bed i went to ly by him and he said i must get away from him. this isn't fair i havn't even done anything wrong, please help me how do i make him beleive me.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

He seems to be over-reacting ridiculously over something really minor, which suggests he has BIG issues of his own, maybe guilt of his own, leading to this silly response. Is it sensible for you to strugle to make him believe you ? Maybe he has been extra stressed by the prospect of the new job, and he may calm down once that seems to be working out

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Our users say:
Posted by: jcat | 2007/03/06

That's a really crappy way to react, and especially over something so simple.

I'd be tempted to drag him to the mechanic by the ear...but it would probably be better to just ignore it. Write it off to stress and his inability to earn more than you. And in a few days or weeks, when he is a little bit more settled, tell him that you do not want to discuss it or argue with him about it, but that if he ever ever makes such offensive statements to you or about you again, it will be the end of the relationship. His insecurity does not give him the right to demean you like that.

Reply to jcat
Posted by: Me | 2007/03/06

Don't get the mechanic to phone him Joan. His jealousy is his problem and not yours. You need to react differently to the situation, and don't try to explain yourself when no explanation is needed. If he wants to make an issue of it, let him, and you just carry on as normal. Maybe he likes getting this kind of reaction out of you, and expects it of you, so give him something totaly different and see how he reacts. I am giving you this advise, because my man is ultra jealous, and I'm trying this advise from a friend and low and behold, it's working for me!!

Reply to Me
Posted by: Blondie.. | 2007/03/06

Ai Joan..

I've told you before what I think of your man and his issues.

To hell with it, why should a stranger be dragged into your bf's personal insecurities..if he doesn't believe you then you should be ignoring him, not the other way around. this really the kind of life you want for yourself..

Reply to Blondie..
Posted by: Lauren Auder | 2007/03/06

Get sum way to let da mechanic contact him or rather tell him that both of u shud go 2 da mechanic 2gether 2 get this sorted out cos u hav nuttin 2 hide.

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