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Question
Posted by: slipper | 2008/05/20

man vind seks oorbodig/grillerig

Ek is in 'n tweede huwelik van 1 jaar. My man is 58 en ek 53. Ons seks lewe was heel normaal voor die huwelik selfs passievol met orale seks ook. Nou is my man geensins geiintreseerd nie. Wat my die meeste bekommer is die feit dat daar ook geen intieme aanraking is nie. Slegs hande vashou en gewone soene. Hy vat nie aan my borste of bene nie. Hy sal nie eers aan my rug vat as ek kaal is nie. Ook geen seksie woordjies nie, al is dit speels.
In die bed lê ons nie naby mekaar nie. Nooit lepel lê nie. Wanneer hy my nag soen en ek hom wil vashou stoot hy my weg. As ek speels aan hom vat sê hy ek is laf en moet ophou. Hy was reeds by 'n volledige mediese ondersoek met geen probleme nie. Hy sê gereeld vir my hy is lief vir my. Hy laat my onaantreklik voel en beide van ons is baie aantreklik mense. Ek voel soos sy suster of beste maatjie waarmee hy al sy droompies kan deel en speel speel deur die lewe gaan. Ek sal sy maatjie ook wees maar ek wil eerste sy vrou wees.

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Our expert says:
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Depending on age and personality, this might be normal for him, except that you are clearly saying that this was NOT how he was before the marriage, so it presumably is not typical. So many things might have caysed this change, there's no point in my guessing --- best is for you to tactfully and gently discuss it with him, on the basis that you're puzzled by how he seems to have lost interest in you sexually and affectionately, since the mariage, and you want to be able to understand. Marriage counselling could obviously help, but he'd have to agree to take part properly.

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