Posted by: Me | 2009/02/11

Maintanace fair?

My husband has been divorced for 7 years. He has a 12 year old son which he sees every 2nd weekend. We have a 3 year old son together and we have a wonderful relationship with my husbands son. My husband has always been paying maintance for his son, even when the company he was working for colsed down and he was out of work for a couple of months. Currently he pays R2000 per month and also his school fees (R800) and medical fees. His mother is now asking for more money.

My husband earns about R16000 per month and also has to help support his parents.

I earn much more than my husband. Because of that I pay for most of our things. My husband helps with the bond on the house and w& l. I pay for everything for our son and for us.

I would like to find out whether the amount that he is paying is fair and also whether the mother can claim money from me.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageDivorce support expert

Hi "Me"

Being fair is really when all the parties concerned are happy with their portion.

If the maintenance has been agreed at a certain amount, it should normally increase every year with the normal increase rate. If the mother needs more money, he should ask what is her present concern to require more money and try and understand what her motives are. If it's because, say she doesn't want to get a job, I would then it's not fair. If she for instance needs this money because of added school supplies not budgeted for, then your husband may be willing to help.
The situation needs to be clear and agreed upon for things to be settled.
If this is not being amicably then unfortunately it will have to be addressed through a lawyer.


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Our users say:
Posted by: JAKES | 2009/02/20

I divorced my wife about 5 years ago now and we have five
cute childrens two of them are grown up and i am maintaining
only three but the problem all are having my surname but only
the third one does not have my surname and it contributed a lot
to my divorce that why does he have her mother surname but
he know nothing the boy about this next year he will be at matric
really it will be a problem because at school from the start until
now he had been using my surname then i discovered that his
birth certificate the surname it different with mine then for matric
they need id`s then they dont correspond

Reply to JAKES
Posted by: Cat | 2009/02/16

My husband' s son lived with his mother until he was in Std 8/Grade 10. My husband paid maintenance all along. Last Quarter of the year we became aware that the child' s stepfather had physically attacked him because of bad school marks. We gave the child an option of protection orders, if he stayed with the mother or he could come and live with us, which he did. We did not ask the mother for maintenance while the child stayed with us and covered all costs ourselves, which include I year at varsity and surgery and costs to correct a severe overbite. Whilst the child was with us we got him through school and Matric, he went to varsity for a year, he a temporary job, he played soccer for a club and generally had a life with us. He did not do well at varsity and then decided to go and live with his mother in Jan 2008 he is now 19 years old. She now wants to sue my husband for maintenance. The mother is divorced for the second time and is also sueing the next husband for child support. It seems the saying ' Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned'  might be appropriate in this instance.

Reply to Cat

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