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Question
Posted by: cherry | 2006/04/11

madness

Hi All

Jeez I dont know where to start, but I think Ill cut this story as short as possible. I am now divorced for 3 months due to a cheating partner. I do find myself healing every day and work on little things to make myself believe I am worthy of a great relationship and a faithful partner.

For the past few days I have felt extremely down just because he eventually got engaged with his affair that works with him after a month of our divorce as well as them obviously living together and now they doing things like concerts together this week and so on. I just feel that if i gave all i could and yes i did have mistakes but minor relationship quarrels, and he cheated on me and eventually took this women as well, why am i feeling so down and upset and worthless if he made the mistake.

This is difficult to explain cause i dont know how to put my feelings on paper as its so confusing, but like i said, why am i feeling like im sitting in a corner with no partner yet as im not ready, and he stuffed up and is still happy inlove, having fun, doing lovely things with his new partner and falling apart, is it just the way I think it is or is it really like that.

Its weird how someone can build his happiness on someone els's sadness. I really feel it would be easier if i had someone by my side to male wise and do couple things but i dont knwo where you meet men.

Anyway good luck to any one of you that understands this long posting as Im in a rut of confusion.

cherry

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Listen to some of your own good thoughts --- HE made the major mistakes and hirt you --- don't lame yourself for his choices. And now that you are divorced, what he does need not concern you at all. Yopu're not ready for a new partner yet, and have had the sense to recognize that. He's probably not ready either, but hasn't been so sensible --- but whatever he does should not matter to you. YOu are not responsible for his happiness or anything else about him, now. YOu THINK he is happy now, but you ae only looking at it from the outside, from a distance, and you shouldn't be looking at all. See a good local counsellor yourself, and work through your own grief and anger, and prepare for a happy future for yourself, and let him do whatever he pleases --- it should no longer affect you.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Southernwrite | 2006/04/11

It might look all rosy for him now - but the wheel will turn for him. Just dont sit around waiting for his unhappiness to arrive - take your time and be patient - Happiness will come your way again.

Reply to Southernwrite
Posted by: hectic | 2006/04/11

I guess there is no pain to describe how one feels when they see/hear someone they took vows with has moved on with the woman he was cheating with.

I know this might not be a consolation for now but just tell yourself he was not meant for you. You gave it your best and he still betrayed, he is not with your pain, misery or tears. If he hurts you then he not worth it …3 months is too soon to even think you are on your way to recovery. Do not stress yourself time will heal the pain.

It will take a while, baby steps but one day you will rise above the pain...

Good luck….You are allowed to feel pain, hurt betrayed and miserable. It is ok to cry as well, it will make you feel better.

Do not rush into another relationship it will only make the situation worse....

Reply to hectic

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