Posted by: Rade | 2007/03/15

Mad convo

but Rade, no offense, but i think you like the idea of this symbolic struggle
i think it would be better if there was someone working through it with you!

its not that, but i know whats going on with me
i was so used to getting pain
it became a fixation
does that more or less explain it?

no... it explains why you need to work through issues, but it doesnt explain why you need to do that alone

no, it explains why i am used to having pain around me
and why i thrive on it
like an addiction

yes, you thrive on pain
but Rade, the way to work through that pain is with someone
by pushing people away it causes more pain
you need to work through the pain to get somewhere better

i know
i know it clear
but you made a comment on i like being in pain
its just that i feel satisfied if i punish myself
because i feel i deserve it
like other people would cut themselves with blades
same thing

you cut yourself off from the world

i eat alone, i think alone

i get that Rade, i really do
but that needs to STOP
if you are every going to get over it

doubt i will
its become me
but not your worries dear

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageGay, lesbian and bisexual expert

Hi again Rade and thanks for this post. Which sounds somewhat like a "Dear Diary...." entry, as though you're communicating or negotiating something with yourself. To which you know the answer. Why a 'She' voice? Besides alluding to a female therapist, could this be a mother voice?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: NIkki | 2007/03/16


Deeve say it all and I agree with that!

Remember YOU and ONLY you can choose to be happy.

Choosing to be unhappy and choosing to feel pain is embedded in what you want to believe. Now you can change that, you can believe that you dont deserve that pain and then you can believe that step by step you can walk away from it.

We are here and listening, keep talking buddy because you are worth it ;)


Reply to NIkki
Posted by: Deeve | 2007/03/16

Hi Rade,
We can chat and help you where needed, but from your posting, it seems that you need to spend some quality time with a Therapist - on an ongoing basis. Definitely until you feel the ton of bricks lifting from your shoulders.
Life has many choices my friend......and choosing to stay where you are right now would not be something that I would recommend. Therapy will help solve the conflict/issues that you are experiencing, and enable you to see light at the end of the tunnel. The longer you leave this, the worse it could become, and also the longer it will take to change things around, and for your world to start looking up. Remember have to want to change things make that decission now, and get the ball rolling. No amount of Therapy will help, if you don't believe in life..! Best wishes.

Reply to Deeve
Posted by: Dyl | 2007/03/16

Agree, its very hard to deal with anythingin life alone, only listening to your idea and not having a 3rd party view. you know we are here for you...

Reply to Dyl
Posted by: Ferny | 2007/03/15

Hi Rade,

All i can say is, SHE is right. You don't have to struggle on alone. There are lots of good people who would be happy to help you through the hard times.

Please think about it. It makes me very sad to think that you are unhappy and in pain.

Love and hugs - Ferny :-)

Reply to Ferny

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