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Question
Posted by: Maar net 'n ma | 2005/06/20

Ma wil uit web kom

My seuntjie van 4 gaan soggens skool toe en in die middag na my gewese skoonouers. Hulle is baie geheg aan hom en hy aan hulle. Ek en my man is geskei en ek wil nie meer my seun soontoe laat gaan in die middag nie. My skoonma vra hom altyd uit ens en ek voel dit is tyd om aan te beweeg. Ek en hulle seun is geskei en ek voel nie meer welkom daar nie, een van die redes is omdat my skoonma nie baie daarvan hou dat ek en my skoonpa goed oor die weg kom nie en blameer hom altyd van allerhande dinge wat nie waar is nie of as hy nie wil maak soos sy se nie dreig sy hom dat sy hom gaan skei. Ek het met my eks hieroor gepraat, maar hy is te onvolwasse. Ek het hom gevra om my te help sodat ek ons kind voltyds in die skool kan sit (nasorg ingesluit), maar hy is te arm. Ek kan dit ongelukkig nie op my eie doen nie, want hy betaal nie eers onderhoud nie en die kostes is te hoog. Die atmosfeer by sy ouers se huis is ondraagbaar en ek wil nie meer soontoe gaan nie. Wat kan ek doen?

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Our expert says:
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I'm surprised that other readers haven't commented here yet. If the boy is happy visiting your ex's parents, maybe that's important, though maybe he could visit them less often --- and you could speak to them and say pleasantly that he feels uneasy when they ask him questions about how things are going at home, so could they rather not do this. As you get on well with skoonpa, maybe discuss this with him and see how he could help. And if your ex isn't paying maintenance, as h should, go and discuss this with the folks at the family court / magistrate's court, and get a court order requiring him to pay enough for he child's maintenance, including afterschool/daycare as needed.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Lola | 2005/06/20

I think it is really nice of his parents to look after him in the afternoons. Maybe have a chat to them and set some boundries though. At the end of the day, they are still his grandparents, she is probably just concerned about her Grandson.

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