Our expert says:
Maybe part of it is that some of us forget the difference between a novel or movie, where the author / director has complete control to bring it all to a happy or at least romantic ending before long, and real-life where the misery can be everlasting. The essential lement is recognizing the difference between fantasy and reality. Maybe you are experiencing some of what men do with their interest in pornography, exploring ome enjoyable "what-if" fantasies. So long as you do not think of turning those into reality. I can fantasize about how lovely it might be to be able to fly, and to soar above the mountain peaks, without being foolish enough to actually jump off a cliff to try it.
Butterflies are fun in the initial stages, but perhament butterfleies could be unpleasant. Why not consider proper marriage counselling with your husband, to re-invigorate the marriage ? Maybe some personal counselling, to sort out your own confusions, too ?
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