Posted by: lees | 2009/01/16


Hi doc - I please need your opinion on a new problem which has arisen. I' ve discovered that my daughter is taking Acid. The way I found out is wrong I know - I read her messages on her phone - why I just dont know - I did' nt suspect her of anything - but there you go, I did it. She' s 20 and a university student. I dont know what to do. The thing is this. If she has the right to do this and use money we give her (she never gets a job even in vacation times) to screw up her brain then I feel I have the right to confront her and say I read the messages. The whole family work so hard to make a success out of everythng we do - non stop really - and I feel so let down, ashamed and disappointed in her. She really gets everything and has been given every opportunity there is. I am really so very sad about this situation - I love her so so much and we have a really good relationship - now this - what on earth will happen and now I guess our relationship will be ruined - but I have to do something. Gathering from the messages I read she' s also trying another substance but there was no name just references to mg' s and water - something like that, but definitely enquiring about things obviously about a drug and she speaks about her source - its horrible. I dont understand this because she' s been really on about leading a healthy life - she stopped smoking and I was really proud of her for that. And she says she' s had enough of partying - been there done that kind of thing- so I just dont get this now. Can you please give me some advice on how I approach this. I ' m feeling that I dont want to -|- foot around it - why should I. If she can do this then I can react on it right? Your advice would be much appreciated.

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Our expert says:
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Sorry to hear this --- there's no possible benefit to her from taking acid, some significant risks, and takign acid can be a sign of being unhappy or disturbed in other ways warranting attention. And you're right, that if she's too lazy to get a holiday job to pay for whatever recreation she plans, she has no business using the money you donate to her for other purposes, just to get idly high.
Does she possibly feel pressured by the family ethos of hard work and aming a success out of everything, that she is rebelling by doing something that nobody ever did successfully ?
As for the other substance, its udnerstandable that you are concerned. The safer drugs don't need to be measured in mgs and mixed with water, but some of the stronger stuff does.
Talking it over with her sounds likely to be important. You have 2 choices ---
a) either you find a different reason to raise the topic ( such as chatting about concerns about someone else, her age and situation, but not known to her, who is having serious problems with LSD and something else you don't understand --- and chat about how this concerns you --- and ask her advice about what drugs are current, how they affect people, how this other person's mother might be advised abouit how to help, etc ; or admit what you did, and apologise up front for that ( and don't allow the discussion to get side-tracked into outrage at your snooping --- postpone that for Discussion 2 ) --- and express your concerns and ask her about what's happening.
And explore how you are funding her. If you are paying her fees, etc., pay them directly, and try to leave her with little ready cash to do drugs with.

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