Posted by: Anon | 2008/09/16

Low sex drive

After I had my baby(1yr now),i' ve lost all interest in sex.My husband &  I have tried everything for me to enjoy but I just can' t get in the mood.Is there anything I can do or take to stimulate my sex drive as this will take a toll in my marriage because I tend to make excuses to my husband now& then.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

This is a common post-natal experience and may be due to several factors:
1. the hormones during breastfeeding, or the act of breastfeeding may dampen sexual interest
2. if you are suffereing from post-natal depression, this will dampen your sexual interest and you need some medical support
3. tiredness / exhaustion due to sleep deprivation frequently knocks sex down the priority list as your priority is likely to be your baby & building your 'family'.
4. difficulty adjusting to being a mother and the idea of being sexual as a mother may turn some people off.
5. resentment that your role as mother has changed you completely and you may feel that your husband's life has remained largely the same (e.g. he can still go to gym or out with his friends, but you may feel too guilty to or feel unable to because of breastfeeding or fear of having someone else look after your baby)
6. You may feel that all you do is meet other people's demands - the baby, work, husband - not only could this reduce your libido as you are likely to feel drained, but also make it difficult for you to want to do anything about it because you just give, give, give...
7. if your baby shares your bedroom or bed, you may feel inhibited.

Unfortunately, unless you have a lower level of testosterone (which is not common and can be difficult to measure as women's testosterone is naturally low anyway) there is nothing pharmaceutical licensed to assist you. You need to identify the cause for your loss in sexual interest before you can do anything about it, once identified, it's likley you'll need your husband's support to make relevant changes that can move you closer to how you once were. This might include him sharing some of the load so that you know it's not all up to you (and that he is hearing your concerns), you taking some time for yourself to feel like an individual again, focusing on the couple relationship and not just the baby, and enhancing your sexual relationship however you can - use of lubricant, sex toys, or fantasy to turn you on - you might find that desire emerges when you become aroused.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Father of 2 | 2008/09/18

Dear Anon, As a husband, I am glad that u making a concerted effort, I too have been on the " receiving"  end, its not nice to wonder whats going on! The way to conquer a problem, is to admit to a problem first!

Reply to Father of 2
Posted by: Anon | 2008/09/17

A person like u should not even be on this seems as though u are only here to critise.Pls keep your silly comments to yourself.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Jj | 2008/09/17

Oho Anon

as i can see,you yourself you are an expect in all fields or is it all abt bng bored,,,,focus to on your kids nt silly comments,,,,

Reply to Jj
Posted by: Anon | 2008/09/17

Thks for the response Doc.There is quite a few points that are made which I think are effecting me.Breastfeeding is I think is the main cause as I am still breastfeeding.
CHRIS-hope u read the response& are trying to fit the puzzle.I know exactly the way your wife is feeling.I' m sure she really wants to be intimate with you but the drive is just not there,so the question she must be saying is why do it when i' m getting no pleasure from it.My husband also does' nt ask anymore& that scares me,cos the saying goes" if his not getting it at home,he will look some where else" .I have' nt spoke to him about this I figured I will try get some help or info first.Hope things work out for u!!!

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Chris | 2008/09/16

I would like to here the response from the experts on your question as the same thing is happening with my marriage. My wife as a very low libido (if any) and its putting very much strain on our marriage. I don' t even ask for sex any more because I already know the answer. At least you are open minded about it and seek some answers, your hubby can be proud of you.

Reply to Chris

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