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Question
Posted by: jane ann | 2007/12/03

low self esteem

my husband had an affair about a year ago.... i am still with him though... for reasons unknown.... however this has brought about a lot ofchanges in me... i dnt find myself attractive anymore... when we go out together he keeps on staring at other women... which irritates me a lot..... i feel as if he is with me only because of the kids....
part of the reason am still with him is becasue of the kids.
i feel ugly and fat althought i only weight 63kg's
i feel so insecure and i hate myself.... he brought about these changes cause i never felt this way in my life... please advise

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Our expert says:
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Surely it's the person who has an affair and cheated on their partner who is truly unattractive ? Most affairs arise out of inadequacies in the person having thrm, not in their partner. Consider some personal counselling to enable you to work through this crisis and recognize your own value

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Tired | 2007/12/03

I am tired of us woman complaining of men cheating and taking them back. If you take him back then you must either beat him at his game or join him. The reason why we give on complaining about them is that we are quick to judge ourselves rather. Listen, you haven't looked around and realize that there are other men appreciating you. We are also human, we need sex and be loved as well. I can tell you 70% of the men who cheat are aware that their wives love them, have kids and won't leave no matter what. I am telling that they even throw a performance when they get home, not wanting to kiss or have sex.Well with me it's different, I am still young and I am suppose to enjoy having sex. Thats why I am proud to say if there isn't a meal at home I'll get a take away and wipe my mouth and wait for Mr busybody to come and get nothing from me.Men have all time in the world to do cheat because we do everything at our homes. For instance, picking up the kids maybe you guys should rotate because that gives him a chance to come late. I am just suggesting but it has never worked for me because there will always be excuses.Well I got myself a splakavellie, and it suits me fine.

Reply to Tired
Posted by: Lolo | 2007/12/03

dear this time u need to think about yourself, if he is womaniser he is also puting you in danger. AIDS is for real not a joke. protect yourself.

think about it.

Reply to Lolo
Posted by: jane ann | 2007/12/03

we have always had a good sexual relationship i pleased him in every way he watned me to..... the problme is he is a womeniser.... been that way from the time we got married.
i have stood by his side in good times and in bad... if it was someone else they would have left him a long time ago.

Reply to jane ann
Posted by: Freddie | 2007/12/03

While I can understand how you don't feel good about yourself, is it not important to understand why he had the affair in the first place. Did he perhaps feel inferrior about himself in that you were not giving him the necessary attention?

All men LOOK....and women LOOK too..... but why did he take it the one step further?

Reply to Freddie
Posted by: Lolo | 2007/12/03

stop taking granted of your self, u can be beatiful only if you accept yourself first. never tell yourself that you are fat, or ugly, fat peole are beactiful too.

now start with the inner u satisfy yourself before u can strive to satisfy the next person, make yourself happy , be selfish and think about u only, then others will follow. change your image, what u wear or buy 2 new items, your hair too and tell yourself "i'm so beatiful".

put the smile on your face baby, go out and meet new friends.
"i believe u are so beatiful dear"

Reply to Lolo
Posted by: Nelly | 2007/12/03

Hi there
There is no way that you can feel that way You must love yourself as you are and other people will also if you think less about yourself He will aslo start to see you as that If he is not happy the way you are and he wants to look outside let him go baby your better off without the pig You should never change for someone if you cant acept you the way you are then he has a problem He sould love the inside not the outside I know men think with they dicks and that is a very sad part And here we are women) trying to please our men and waht do we get back it wont help to feel that way Get up girl and pull yourself togther you were good for him to marry you why do u feel less a women !!!!!!

Reply to Nelly
Posted by: Nelly | 2007/12/03

Hi there
There is no way that you can feel that way You must love yourself as you are and other people will also if you think less about yourself He will aslo start to see you as that If he is not happy the way you are and he wants to look outside let him go baby your better off without the pig You should never change for someone if you cant acept you the way you are then he has a problem He sould love the inside not the outside I know men think with they dicks and that is a very sad part And here we are women) trying to please our men and waht do we get back it wont help to feel that way Get up girl and pull yourself togther you were good for him to marry you why do u feel less a women !!!!!!

Reply to Nelly

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