Our expert says:
this is exactly the sort of problem for which counselling / psychotherapy can be so very useful. It's not a question of soul mates, soully or otherwise there are men out there with whom you could have a long and enjoyable, sustaining relationship, but you're not likely to find them, as you already recognize, by jumping so promptly into bed with them. It sounds as if you may indeed have low self-esteem, and as if you feel confident enough of your sexual performance, without feeling confident of your loving performance as an affectionate friend within a deepening relationship.
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