Posted by: Seriously confused | 2009/06/21

Loving the wrong ppl

After finding out that my boyfriend of 2 yrs is married, I thought my world was falling into pieces but i managed to deal with it.

The problem that I have is I happen to fall in love very easy and when I do - it chaces the partner. I' ve noticed this in my last 2 relationships.

1. this r/ship lasted 10 months, my friendz used to blame me for loving him, saying he doesn' t appreciate me blah blah blah. In the end I had to see it for myself - he was just in for my money, sex and to be treated like a man. In the end I realised that what my friendz were saying was true - was so hurt because I loved him very much.

2. This r/ship lasted only 3 weeks, we were madly in love with each other (thats what I thought) but in the 4th week he started acting funny on the phone and promised to come and see me but didn' t and humiliate me when I talk to him.

My problem is regardless of the hurt that I went through, I still love again but my last r/ship didn' t even last a month and I know that my mistake was to show him that I love him.

What must I do now?

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Our expert says:
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See a counsellor to sort out what you want, and the unhelpful strategies you seem to be using to achieve what you want. Neither automatically accept nor reject your friend's suggestions, but test them out. I wonder whether you mistake infatuation or wwishful thinking, for actual love ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Angela | 2009/06/22

Maybe you " fall in love"  too easily ... take things easy and let your relationships develop ... don' t go rushing into things ' cos you wanna be loved. How could you not know that your boyfriend of 2 years is married? Where does he sleep at night, what does he do over weekends and Xmas and New Year? How does he explain his absence to you or his wife? Come on, surely you must know that something was amiss if he could not spend all his time with you - as most married men cannot do with their mistresses ... maybe this is your " punishment"  for interfering (knowingly or unknowingly) in someone' s marriage and no, I am not married, so I am not a bitter wife, just someone who would NEVER have an affair with a married man ... they are no go, they are not yours to mess around with ... what would' ve happened if his wife found out - or is it a case of " my wife does not understand me"  or " we have an open marriage"  or " I am in the process of getting divorced"  - these must be the oldest married man lines in the book .... find someone who is unattached and stay away from married men - you will get hurt!!

Reply to Angela
Posted by: Anonymous | 2009/06/22

believe me when I say you are not the only one. I stayed with a man for more than 2 years. we were happy when he did not have money, did not have a car or a place to stay. after two - three years when his things started getting better, I was pregnant and not good enough for him anymore. people get in relationships for different reasons. I mean I know I don' t need this looser in my life, I have just invested so much thinking he really loved me, now I wish I never met the son of a b***ch. I know not all men are the same, there are actually good once out there, they are just hard to come by, but hang in there if you are lucky, your prince charming will find you. good luck

Reply to Anonymous
Posted by: Anonymous | 2009/06/22

Reply to Anonymous
Posted by: Anonymous | 2009/06/21

" You give alot of love but you dont know why" 


Reply to Anonymous

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