Posted by: nn | 2008/08/11

Loving him hurts to much!

My bf and I were together for 18 months. For those 18 months –  we were engaged and staying together for 15 months.
Things just got a bit out of hand in the end and we broke up. 18 months later we got back together and now we have been together for 13 months now. When we initially got back together we both said that we wanted to work things out so we could have a future together. We both agreed that is what we wanted. And what a difficult 13 months it has been. For some reason things have been so hard for us. And we keep on fighting to save things. The past couple of weeks things have been hard and so we agreed to have a break. I said to my bf why are we fighting all the time so save this relationship when we have been together for 13 months when he has not even proposed to me and also turns around and says he will not marry me because of my bad characteristics. Yes I am not perfect and I do have faults and he is looking for something that is 100% perfect and it just puts unnecessary pressure on me. He does not make an effort anymore and I just keep on trying and trying. We have had a break for a week now and he has not called me to see how things are going or to say he misses me. We managed to speak this weekend and he said that he never wants to get married ever. I told him I could not be in a relationship where we both want different things. I want to settle down and get married. I would not go back to someone if that was not the intention. So now he wants another week to think about things. And then tell me we can break up, have more time apart or I can move out and we still see each other. So I told him maybe taking a step back and moving out will be better. I am tired of living at his house and he keeps telling me it is not my home and he pays for everything. I said I need stability and I will move back to my mom, save up and get my own place by getting a second job to pay for rent –  just so I can have a place to call me own and I do not have to be kicked out all the time. And then he turns around and says it is over because I chose to move out. But that was an option he gave me. Then he says if we break up, then he will get a moving company to pack my stuff and bring it to my mom’ s house. Surely I have the right to go there and pack my own stuff and move it on my own. How do I know he is not going to keep some of my stuff or break my stuff while packing it away? Right now I am so hurt and have been crying non stop since yesterday –  now I have to wait another week to see how he feels and I do not see how a week is going to change his mind. If he has to think about making a commitment to me then there is something wrong. I feel like I have failed and I have tried so hard to make it work and show him that I want to work things out. But it hurts so much right now. Can anyone please give me some advise on what I should do.

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink


The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: tuscan | 2008/08/11

sounds like you tried your best,it just wasnt meant to be. go get your stuff,but take a guy friend with incase.

some guys dont know what they have until its gone.

Reply to tuscan
Posted by: mm | 2008/08/11

forget about this dog, he is not worth it and does not respect you.

never put your trust in men. some are good and others are so bad.

Reply to mm

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.