Posted by: D.A | 2007/05/02

Lovers Block

Hi guys.

I've been reading your posts from number 200 or so all tring to find an similar situation. I could only find stuff a could relate to and nothing concrete. Although the answers and advice to all the post I read really helped in some way.
Ok, my issue is regarding my bf and our relationship. I would like to get some other oppinions (other than mine). Basically a third party perspective.

Me and my Bf has been together for 5 years now - straight. A relationship this long is never easy and you cherish every happy moment inbetween the difficult times. We hardly ever fight and I'd like to think that there is lots of love and happiness in our unity. My only issue is that I'm unable to fully trust anyone and I think is is starting to have an effect on our relationship. I've never been the jealous or possessive type but my conditions are always there. Meaning that we never go out alone and I'd like to know where he is at any moment. This is not done for the obvious jealous reasons but also for the fear that something might happen to him along the way and I would not even know where or what to do. I keep finding myself on square one every day. I've talked to my Bf about this and truly beliefed that it got better. But alas I still doubt every little thing he does or say. I'm not happy to be constantly anilyzing everything he does or say. I know that no union between 2 individual people is without it's ups and downs but I really really need some advice on how to proceed. I'm scared that if I ask him to accompany me to a couples pshyc he'll think I'm over reacting or going

I've read another post by deeve #481 and this really really shocked me. I must say that I found this single one post the most helpful. I did not enter this relationship out of pure love or desperation. It was an dicision made by me and only me for various reasons and yes love did have a major role and it still does. My bf does some thing that I don't aprove of and propably vice versa aswell (he hasn't said anything). My point is that we don't share as much feelings as I'd like to and I keep feeling insecure and childish. I'm post here asking for some advise and fresh ideas. Please make no mistake please, me and my Bf are very happy and I'd like to see us together till the end of time.


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Posted by: Gareth | 2007/05/03

I fully agree with Deeve on this one. These issues you have in your head may not seem so serious, but they can really spiral into something so serious that you lose your life partner because of it. It would really be to your own and your relationships benefit if you take the action and go see a therapist to help you work through the issues you have in your head. You should also sit your partner down, and, just like you have done in this post, discuss these things that is going through your head with him. You seem like a wise person, and I am sure he will understand it too. Like you said, a relationship is hard work, but well worth the effort. Good luck and keep us posted on the progress.

Reply to Gareth
Posted by: Deeve | 2007/05/03

Hi D.A,
I posted the 'Life Partner' number, simply because I believe that it can help many people. It answers so many 'real life' questions in one single shot! Did you print it and show it to your partner...?
You have raised some very grave concerns about yourself, and your relationship. You seem worried that your things may suffer if you see a Therapist, but I can assure you, it may suffer even more in time if you don't! There is nothing in your posting that cannot be sorted with a little help. You may even find that they advise on 'Couples' therapy too. Time to act while the the fires still hot....! Best of Luck, D

Reply to Deeve

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