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Posted by: Chris | 2005/11/24

Love was never mine.

I truely loved her when I married her.
I tried in every way I knew to show her.
She deceived me by making a day time appointment with her ex lover.
I loved her and forgave her without finding out why she was still meeting with this guy. (Perhaps the truth would have been too much for me.)
I found semen on her panties after 5 years into our marraige. I loved her and wanted to believe that it was a meaningless quicky. She ofcourse denied the forensic analysis that it was semen. I accepted that and did not pursue the matter because I loved her.
13 years into our marraige I found out that she was friends with another man. I forbad her the friendship after I found out that it was becoming very unhealthy and secretive. They met each other behind my and this man wife's backs.
They kept on with their meetings and when I wanted to pursue the matter I was forbidden to mention it. I loved her and accepted the ban on any discussion of the matter.
I loved her but found that this savage cut was ultimately fatal.
I could not forgive and forget again ....... And the expression of love died.
We lived together for another seven years, without fighting and or bickering, but also without any real communication. I preferred it this way because seperation was unthinkable. I loved her.
Inevetably she has left me and we are only friends. I don;t want to be her friend.
Friendship cannot grow in my barren, cold. burnt out hart where love once flourished.
She was looking for love. She'll never find it. She can't recognize it if she sees it.
Bye my love. At one stage it was grand. Thank you.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sadly, Chris, in the end you lost very, verty little. She will run into the problems her type of behaviour always ultimately cause. And you ned to let go and move on with the rest of your life, and make it a really good one.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: ... | 2005/11/24

beautifully expressed - right from the heart..... i guess love really is blind..... best wishes.... with time, you will find that woman who can appreciate and accept your love... look forward to good times!

Reply to ...
Posted by: Buzz | 2005/11/24

Nina is right. This letter is sad, not angry. I wish you acceptance, happiness, and reciprocated love.

Reply to Buzz
Posted by: Another one | 2005/11/24

I feel like I am in the same situation as you. Only the other woman is all my husbands hobbies and activities in his life. It seems the harder I try the worse it gets. The communication has gone about a year ago. We are use to each oter at this stage and just going with the flo.

Now I read your story and see myself just going with the flo for the next 10 years and then ending it, and wasting all that time. Don't I deserve to be happily married to a loving man who loves and cares? Who wants to spend time with me and the kids. At this stage it seems like we are a burden to him, in a comfort zone, and he atmitted that is why he is never home. Been to councelling, talking, crying and pleading does not help. What now? He knows I cannot afford to leave him and that is his security.

Reply to Another one
Posted by: Delene | 2005/11/24

You are one in a million.
Hope YOU can find happyness again, you deserve it so much!

Reply to Delene
Posted by: lady nina | 2005/11/24

hi chris

it's a great letter, without bitterness and revenge... only sadness

love will find you , be patient

nina

Reply to lady nina
Posted by: Tango | 2005/11/24

Hello Chris,

Thank you for sharing a beautiful farewell letter to your past love. (I say passed because you used the words "loved" and "farewell") I have always found that by writing it all down it helps to put it all into context. I wish you joy, luck and peace. You sound like a truely forgiving and sensitive person and I hope that one day, if you so wish, you will find someone that can appreciate and respect that.

Reply to Tango

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