Posted by: Lilian | 2008/01/24

Love vs Money

I have a beautiful , considerate, generous and warm friend. She is evrything one needs in a friend and more but I have one problem with her.She gets in relationships for money.She is currently earning a good enough salary,leaves in a decent place, dresses well, eat well and is able to look after her 8 yr daughter very well, but she has this obsession about men and their wallets.She has gone out with people way out of her league just because she heard they are "loaded". she has gone out with married men,she honestly does not have any intentions of getting married to these men or disrupting their marriages, she's very discreet about such affairs , all she wants is their money.This is so unlike her ,its a total contrast of the person she really is and this puzzles me.I've asked her what she wants in relationships and she told me "not to get emotionally involved but have someone who can take care of me financially' She honestly does not need one to take care of her, she's managing very well.In a space of a year,she's had about 8 relationships, some she gets out of as soon as she realises that the lover is not a well off as she thought he was. I've spoken to her frankly one time and told her about what this does to her reputation and she burst out and cried saying , she honestly does not know what she wants and promised to stop it but it has'nt stopped. She is perfect in any other way as a friend but this is her major weakness, anything I can do ?I'm worried tha people who know her might think that he friends are like that too.What can I do?

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Our expert says:
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She's what is called "mercenary", motivated by money and personal gain, rather than by other motives. I wonder why she apparently, despite her excellent fortunes, feels vulnerable and needy and needing to be taken care of. Maybe she could be persuaded to see a good local psychologist so as to better understand herself, and change this excessive focus on how "loaded" a guy is, and find more personal sense of security and happiness, and a better ability to enjoy what she has

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