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Question
Posted by: LOGAN | 2004/11/30

Love turning to Hate

Me and my Girlfriends relastionship has fallen apart completely.
We have no form of intamisy we dont even kiss goodnight
or hold hand anymore.
We are bound to one another by some unforseen stuff that will
be resolved in about 3weeks.
How do i keep from turning this very long relationship into a hate
mater, as i am trying to be as nice as possible but she ither has no idea how she is or has a sick sence of humer.
I would realy we try and go our own ways as friends than enemy's.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Hate isn't the only alternative, surely ? Sounds like the relationship has irretrievably broken down, but that the stress of waiting for the sale to be complete, etc, is getting on the nerves of both of you. Can't you work ou a plan to have less contact, and avoid conflict, for the time remaining ?

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6
Our users say:
Posted by: Shaun | 2004/12/01

Hi Logan,

I think thats an absolutely great decision. Don't hesitate, do it now!!!

& Talk here whenever you need.

Regards,
Shaun

Reply to Shaun
Posted by: LOGAN | 2004/11/30

Shaun tanks for the advice maby i need to see someone
to help me with not only the house and our problems but the
emotional problems i have IE my temper and slow hate buld up
for her.

I know violance is not the way and i will never go that far i have allot of self respect and am just worried that she can
push me to even think that way.

Reply to LOGAN
Posted by: Shaun | 2004/11/30

Hi Logan,

As CS suggested, sounds like you need to work on a plan where you see much less of each other.
As to whether it would help just you seeing a shrink I would say most probably yes. I feel strongly that you should generally take care of yourself first.
From your posting it seems like she has no remorse, while you maybe seeking a resolution to all the questions you have. Getting violent is definitely not the answer, but I do understand that it gets difficult to control sometimes. Know that I am not saying it is ok, I am saying that it is important that you make efforts to see less of each other.
It may not seem fair, or right, but keep in mind the familiar saying that all's fair in love & war. Although I don't totally understand that phrase myself, I would suggest that you try rule with your head instead of letting your emotions take control.

Yes Logan, I do think it would benefit YOU to see a shrink.

Regards,
Shaun

Reply to Shaun
Posted by: LOGAN | 2004/11/30

CS thank you for the reply.

We try and avoid one another by doing our own things and
not seing one another over weekends.

This is helping allot , but when i need her help on certain things
pretaining to the house she has no time and she is costing me
thousands of rands with dept i have to pay to get the house sold.
I so hoped we could be mature and do the right thing but it looks like i have a no hope in hell.

Reply to LOGAN
Posted by: LOGAN | 2004/11/30

Hi Shaun

I have thought about seeing someone but allso beleave that
we are both at the end of our relationship and would it help just me seing a shrink.

We own a house and have sold it and have about 3weeks to
go before we move and go our own ways.
We have spoken about it allot and agree we are hurting one another more than anything or than one person should take.
She is just so rude and self absorbed and has no interest in
giving me any assistans with the problem.
I know there is someone els in her live and i hope she will be happy and find the love she needs.
I just find it so hard to speek to her as she go's out her way to
make me feel like a A hole by lying to me in my face.
And has admited that she is doing it?
How do i keep calm and cool and not loose it she makes me something i am not(violant)

Your input please!!!!!!!

Reply to LOGAN
Posted by: Shaun | 2004/11/30

Hi Logan,

I have no idea why you guys are bound together for another 3 weeks, & I have no idea whether she has a sick sense of humour or not. What I do know is that often, to hate, is a choice we make.

Would it not be possible to work through your obvious concerns via a shrink, where you could be totally open & honest & let everything out instead of keeping it in right now & allowing it to build up...???

Regards,
Shaun

Reply to Shaun

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