Posted by: ME | 2004/10/27

Love triangle

Hi there

I'm confused what to do and the thing is one of my friend let say her name is Kelly went out with this guy say John for 1 year and 3 months and they broke up but then he and her best friend say Lara also one of my best friend started going out and Lara's and Kelly's friendship were ruined because of John and Lara that were going out. John and Lara were together for like 3 weeks and they broke up. The reason why Lara and her ex boyfriend started visiting each other but Lara and John were still together and he found it out so they fighted alot and he needed comfort and he phoned me to talk about it. I said to him i will always be here if he wants to talk. So last night they figthed again and he phoned me and came to visit. Me and John spoke alot and it just feels like we were actually meant to be together because of the fact that in our previous relationships me and him were not treated the way we should've been treated so we actually understand each other and our feelings are pretty much the same. What i want out of a relationship is a guy who cares for me, will love me every day of our lifes untill the day we die and really appreciate me. And he is everything i just mentioned, everything i want from a guy. The problem is just that i will lose my two best friends for him and i feel its worth it because i think i must start thinking about my own needs and stop worrying what other people will say. Do you think i'm doing the right think and please just give me advise on how to handle this situation and how to tell my friends about me and John.

Thank you very much.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageTeen expert


it sounds like you have a difficult decision to make. On the one hand if you have really strong feelings for John you need to consider whether having a relationship is the most important thing to you. Whether it lasts forever it is impossible to say, but you have to question if it ends after a week and you have lost your best friends would it then be worth it?

How well do you know your friends and how well do you know John? If you don't kow him that well, it may be that he is just wanting to date Kelly's friends to make her jealous?

Before you do anything you need to think about why your friendships are important to you, and how you may feel if you give them up, and then you and John break up. Your friendships may just be too much to lose, and thinking about these is also thinking about your own needs as at times friends can be more helpful and more important than a boyfriend.

Have a think about these things and then if you want to chat more, post another question here on the site. Take your time as reacting without thinking may lead to you making a mistake you later regret.

Best wishes

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: first time | 2004/10/28

it sounds that you are a good person who wants to do things in a meaningfull way, you are the one who desrve the best, for the successfull relationship but it is not easy to find the soul mate its better to hang on with those you trust and love and give them more time to talk to you not just about yourselve also about your families thats where you can get what you want.
i wish you a good relationship

Reply to first time

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