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Question
Posted by: Hank | 2004/11/04

Love hate relationship with a friend.

I have started a business, one of several that failed, with a straight male friend, he is now doing well with personal training business, that I have helped and supported him with. I feel so used, and the fact that I helped him to the detrimant of myself, but we are still sharing an appartmant.

Do not know how to channel my emotions, and how to outgrow this?
Please help.
Regards
Hank

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Not clear, from your message, what the problem actually is. You call him a straight male friend, so presumably you're gay. Did you expect something sexual and emotional to arise between you two ? If so, wasn't that rather unrealistic ? He's a flatmate. You have him some help and support. As Zee says, didn' you do this out of the goodness of your heart, rather than expecting a specific reward ? Especially if the reward you expected, was romantic and contrary to his own nature ? So, were you used ? Did he promise rewards he hasn't delivered on ? Did you hope for greater involvement in the business than has turned out to be the case ?
As for channelling and using one's emotions more constructively, that's where counselling comes into its own.

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: Hank | 2004/11/04

No I did not expect something romantic, just loyalty, we had a gentlemans agreement on structure of co. for start up purposes, where I funded everything, And then later because he had control became his co. where I was asked to start my own, his reasoning isa rater different, and logic + cmmon sense does not always prevail. I expected that because I sold our family house to make this possible, some loyalty and descent principles to prevail. He has mentioned if people want loyalty get a Labrador!

Reply to Hank
Posted by: Kernel | 2004/11/04

What kind of contract and company did you have and how is the shareholding divided? Without any of this you have no leg to stand on.

Did he ask or force you to help him with the business?

Reply to Kernel
Posted by: Zee | 2004/11/04

I m not sure if I follow ur story, But Were u not helping him out of the goodness of ur heart?. Why do u feel used? What did u expect out of this "HELP', in return.

Reply to Zee

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