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Question
Posted by: FIO | 2007/07/10

Love doesn't last forever, only memories

Some may remember I broke up with girlfriend 2 years ago after 4 year relationship. She had 2 little girls from her marriage who literally became my girls.

Anyway, in the interum I met someone, and ended up having an illegitimate child with her, who has turned out to be the best thing that could've happened to me, even though she and I are not together.

The ex broke up with her new boyfriend, and has tried to get back with me. Met her and kids again, got on quite well, and she accepted my little son. We spoke about things, and she agreed that she had messed up in the past, and that things had changed, that she had changed, and for a while I really thought she had.

But, the BIG BUT, pretences cant hold forever. The same old person is still there, just dressed differently. Underneath she has not changed, and I was reminded of why I left in the first place. This time though, no love lost. Love can die, its a fallacy that love lasts forever. The memory of love does last, but not love. One cannot go back to the past and hope to relive it. When you leave someone, you do it for a reason, those reasons do not die. remind yourself before you make the mistake. But sometimes making the mistake is good, coz now at least I have final closure, and can move on without any doubt. yay!!!!!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

People don't change much, and then only if they really profoundly want to, and work at it with professional expert help. And you have discovered the fallacy of going back to a marvellous past ( which at the time was never ever as marvellous as it might seem to be, in retrospect ). I think it was the Amwerican author Thomas Wolfe who wrote a book called "You Can't Go Home Again" including this powerful theme. You are wise to have recognized this, and to have achieved closure. You may even manage to be friendly towards her, and especially the children, without seeking to recapture a relationship that ended for good reasons

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: if its love... | 2007/07/12

good question AFT, cos if it was love then you'd work things out and be with her regardless of who or what she is... when u trully love someone you stay with them no matter who they are within....

Reply to if its love...
Posted by: AFT | 2007/07/10

Who's to say it was love anyway?

Reply to AFT

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