Posted by: Miserable | 2007/05/15

Love Confusion with lust

Hi All

I am in this situation.

I have dated a guy for at least 5 years now n think that i love him dearly. The problem with his started when i cought him having sex with one of his colleague in December 2005, that lady is living in Saldana Bay.

I loved him so much and i could do everything for him, i put my everything on him. I did not do anything without discussing with him first.

After the whole catching story, he decided to confess everything so we can start a new life.

He told me he was in the process of divorce with two kids and he is suffering for Herpes infection. The infection that he claims only got it while still in high school in the late 80's.

I felt so num and nearly exploded. Out of obsession i forgave him and we carried on with our lives. Soon after that, The wife came to my work place and comfronted me, she said they have three kids and not two and i must leave her husband alone. She wanted to chew me. I almost got fired from my job, but managed to make my boss understand, who later wanted to sleep with me in order for me to get increase.

I am still with boyfriend and recently everything is coming back to me. I am recreting the fact that i forgave him and did not give myself the space to heal and think about the whole ordeal.

The tables have turned now, because i met this cute handsome guy who claims he loves me too much and wants to spend the rest of his life me. It is so difficult for me to have a clear conscious. I want to hurt my BF, I want him to feel the pain that he caused me and cry until the next day.

What makes it painfull to me is, he is now changed, he does everything for me, I go through his phone and i havent seen anything suspicious. He loves me now but i dont have it. I sometimes look at him and just want to tell him that i cheated on you and not once but ten times this year with the same man.

Should i let him go or should i tell him the truth.

Please and dont judge...

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sorry, can I get this clear --- he was dating you, AND having sex with a colleuge, but ACTUALLY still married with kids and cheating on his wife as well as you ? And giving herpes to all 3 of you ladies ? It sounds like a very good idea to leave him, not to hurt him, but to save yourself and his wife. And you think maybe he's stopped cheating with other women ? But isn't he still cheating on you with his wife, and cheating on his wife with you ?
Then your boss was a disgusting heel who tried to push you to have sex with him for a raise ? That is sexual harassment for which he could and should get FIRED --- lay a formal complaint with HR.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Thato | 2007/05/15

Dump him.

To me you look like the same time of people. How can you do that back, you should just let him go.

Good luck

Reply to Thato

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