Posted by: Kerry | 2005/05/31


Mr X lived in UK for 6 years. He has an ex-wife and 9 yr old daughter who lived in SA. He came back 2 yrs ago and moved in with them. We took to each other from the start but nothing happened. I was living with my ex-husband, whom I kicked out in February. Mr X then made a move on me. We have this "affair" going now but I want more than just an affair. He says that he hasn't been a part ofhis daughter's life for 6 years and now all of a sudden he "lives" for her only. I don't swallow that story. Why would he all of a sudden live for her only now when he's been away from her for 6 years. I really have feelings for this man and he says he has feelings for me. I feel that if he's in love with me then we should move in together. I get the feeling though, that he is very hesitant in doing this even though he says he thinks about me all the time. I know its not an easy decision for him to leave his child but surely if you are in a miserable, loveless relationship, you would want to get out of it. Why would any one live like that? I am just scared that he wants his bread buttered on both sides. Should I give him an ultimatum? He either moves in with me or we stop this affair.

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Our expert says:
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And why, having come all this way back to be with his ex-wife and daughter, does he plunge into a relatonship with you, that risks his relationship with both of them ? he may well be engaging in buttering his bread on several sides.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Tha Man | 2005/06/01

Kerry his relationship with his exwife and child is not loveless - lustless, it could be. But that lust he gets from you. Take it from me Tha Man. I know this type. We make our adorable families look miserable to get into underneath your g-string and so you keep it coming until we puke you like that.

Reply to Tha Man
Posted by: Kerry | 2005/06/01

Yes, that is exactly what goes on in my mind all the time. The mistress always loses in the end. Believe me, I never thought I would ever be in this position but now I know what it feels like to be the woman on the side - it hurts and what's worse is that I know he won't leave them. Why should he when he has it all.

Reply to Kerry
Posted by: Tubby | 2005/05/31

Kerry, it seems to me that Mr X, falls into the catergory of a typical man.
He`s in the house with his ex, with the kid he " loves" and also getting what he "wants" from you. What man wouldn`t want that.
It's a very dangerous situation for you, as the ex could and probably will use the child to get him to do anything she wishes. When that happens you fallen into third place.

Maybe you should have kept the whole relationship platonic from the start.

I don`t understand why he doesn`t find his s own place and maybe try the relationship from that angle. Maybe then you`ll get a better idea if there is life in the relationship before jumping all the way by moving in. Remember the sad thing about an affair is that it comes to an end, and as long as he is living with his ex, the end is always near.


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