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Question
Posted by: mario | 2007/02/22

Love

Middag Doc

Ek wil graag weet wat veroorsaak intense liefde/obsessie in mense. As ek iemand romanties ontmoet, raak ek hals oor kop "verlief" op die persoon. Dit raak so erg dat ek fisies siek raak. As die persoon byvoorbeeld nie elke uur sms nie, raak ek verskriklik depressief en siek (naar, vomeer,ens). Aan die begin is my seksuele aangetrokkenheid verskriklik sterk. As die persoon nie sy 200% aandag aan my gee nie, beland ek in 'n psigiatriese kliniek vir selfmoordneigings.

Dan na twee of drie weke begin die obsessie/verliefdheid afneem, dis amper asof ek my emosies aspris "afskakel" om ontslae te raak van die permanente siekgevoel en worsteling, en wil nie meer seksueel verkeer met die persoon nie. Dan kan my maat dit nie verstaan dat dit so goed gegaan het aan die begin nie en hoekom ek nou ewe skielik koud raak. Soms ek ook nie.

Nou het ek iemand wonderlik ontmoet, dieselfde het gebeur aan die begin van die verhouding en het ook toe my emosies "afgeskakel". Die probleem is dat ek nogsteeds rerig van die persoon hou, maar vind dit moeilik om naby die persoon te kom en myself blootstel aan die persoon.

Dit bekommer my rerig, want ek weet dit gaan weer gebeur in die toekoms. Ek weet ek moet by 'n sielkundige uitkom met dit, maar wil net weet waar kom die gedrag vandaan. Iets in my verlede dalk? PS ek was seksueel misbruik in my kinderdae.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Middag, mario,
Obsewssions are a form of psychiatric disturbance. Love, which can at times be obsessive to some degree, is not.
But much of what you describe can be controlled simply by your chosing to be realistic in your expectations. An SMS every hour ? What on earth would you have done in the days before SMS, before cell-phones, indeed, before phones ?
It swould be well worth your while to see a good local counsellor / psychologist, preferably one practising CBT, to work on your apparent habit of going way over the top and excessive in your reaction to someone you think you love --- your behaviour may well be so overwhelming and smothering as to make the person you're temporarily besotted with, want to withdraw and leave you, so it is essentially self-defeating. Work with the counsellor to regain control over such behaviours, so as to be able to enjoy more peaceful and sustained relationships

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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