Our expert says:
Can't your father get some support from the local medical school or state hospital, as regards his meds ?
I understand that you fel awful about what you did in desparation. But you did not go through with it, though the money must have been enormously tempting. And the situation that led you to feel so desperate was not your choosing or your fault. If that experience was a tst, you passed it, as a person with honour and quality.
Yes, you hear of people who strugle for ages and then triumph in the end --- and they probably felt just as sure as you do that good things could not happen to them, before they did.
Talk with your bf, and make it clear, that you love him, but have felt scared to talk to him about your financial problems, for fear that he or his family might think you were only thinking of the money. If he loves you, he will be able to understand. DOn't let pride stop you from accepting some help from him. There's no point in being wealthy unles one uses the wealth to help worthy people, like yourself. That's not "being a harity ase" --- and I'm sure hat as soon as you no longer need financial help, you will stop taking it.
You are NOT a weak person --- it takes great strength to struggle as long and hard as you have, and any sensible person should honour you for that
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