Our expert says:
what a marvellously Byzantine opening sentence !
You don't need her. And when you compare her with other women you meet, you cheat yourself-- you're comparing, not the real her, but the fantasy her you created in your mind, and loved ; and you're comparing the best of what you fantasized she might be, with their reality, and conveniently forgetting the bad aspects of the real her. ( See ? I can manage a pretty Bysantine sentence muself !)
You don't need to erase those memories, but to change them, from the false ones you have been comforting yourself with, to reality-based ones. When you go to the farm, don't sigh about how marvellous he was, remember how cheating and hurtful she was, and feel happy that you can now enjoy it without her company.
You don't need her. You have convinced yourself that you do. Unconvince yourself.
Cut down on the contacts you have been having with her, they're not benefitting either of you.
Counselling --- from any available counsellor, depending on where you are. It doesn't need a rocket-scientist, just a professional with the usual training and experience.
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