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Question
Posted by: ex mommy | 2007/12/21

lost and sad

Dear Cybershrink,

I think I`m losing my mind and going crazy. My baby was born prem 2 weeks ago, but died last week after 6 days. It feels like i`ve killed my baby. Maybe if I had recognized earlier that I was in labour they could have done something. I tried to get hold of the psychiatrist who treated me for depression in 2003 but he is booked solid until the 15th of January.

Any advice would really help.
Thank you

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

So very sorry to hear of your sad experience. DO see a good local counsellor asap ( the hospital should have recommended one straight-away ), and call Lifeline . Do NOT blame yourself --- this is very sad, but you did NOT harm your child. You did the best that you could in the situation, and none of us can do more than that.
Sorry if your psychiatrist hasn't the sense to always keep some openings for emergencies --- but do see someone else in the meantime.
And as Anon says, do try to reach Compassionate Friends ( started years ago in the UK by a friend of mine ) --- which helps anyone who has kost a child, at any age.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Hope* | 2007/12/22

Dear ex mommy. My heart goes out to you. What a difficult time of your life. Its not your fault. Try and follow Anons advice, you really must talk to someone. Will be thinking of you.

Reply to Hope*
Posted by: anon | 2007/12/21

Dear Ex Mommy

My heart goes out for you. It must be one of the most difficult times right now of your life. You need time to grieve the loss of your baby. You never killed your baby and must not blame yourself. You are still in shock and its normal to think to yourself, what could you have done, if only ... just remember, it wasn't your fault. I am sure you had regular checkups and if the medical Drs never picked up anything was amis, having a prem baby, and losing it, is not your fault.

Please call compassionate friends 011 827 6035 East Rand or 011 440 6322 Johannesburg. Don't know where about in the country you live, but they are a wonderful group of people. Every single one of them have been through a loss of a child or sibling and can relate to you. You do need to talk about it. You had hopes and plans and waited so long and never expected this to happen.

In the meantime if you feel you are unable to cope, contact your nearest hospital and a psychiatrist on call or on duty will see you. Has your GP or Gynae given you some meds to help you right now. Were you on antidepressants before you fell pregnant. Do you have a supportive family around you and friends. I am thinking of you and you are in my thoughts and prayers. You can call and chat to Lifeline tel no above now.

((hugs))

Reply to anon

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