Posted by: Concerned | 2008/12/09

Loss of sex drive and self esteem

My boyfriend of 6 years has just been diagnosed with ADD at 35, The tablets at first peaked his sex drive, but then diminshed it, or rather prompted him to not pursue intimacy with me, but rather through porn. He says his lack of drive has nothing to do with me, but rather with a lack of confidence in his own abilities. I am trying to be supportive, but underwent a mastectomy a year ago, and am also battling with self esteem issues - not feeling very sexy right now! Do you think I am the problem, or could it be the result of the ADD/meds he has taken?

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Our expert says:
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It could be that the medication impacted negatively on his sexual function and this left him feeling sexually inadequate. This would need to be explored with his prescribing practitioner so as to ascertain the problem and in order to address his feelings of inadequacy (e.g. if he is struggling with his erection or to ejaculate, this may be a side effect). Ideally, these should be discussed and worked through with you rather withdrawing intimacy and resorting to porn. I wonder why he has done this? Is this his stuff, or does he for some reason think that you would have a problem with him having a problem? (e.g. if he expects you to be sensitive following your mastectomy?). In short, it is difficult to respond to 'who is the problem', a more thorough understanding of what has gone on sounds like it could be useful to both of you...

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Our users say:
Posted by: ? | 2008/12/09

seems to be a combination. You both should probably see a sexologist.

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