Our expert says:
We tend to hear a lot, here, about witchy ex's, but then I suppose (a) such p[ersonality and behaviour provide good reasons why they're exes, and (b) nobody seems to want to write to us about a marvellous Ex.
ANY ex who bad-mouths the other parent to their child, is guilty of child abuse, in my book. But she should not be allowed to or able to check his salary --- that's an invasion of privacy. YOu and your husband need to work together to prevent her from being disrupting, and to sort things out between you, maybe with the help, for a while, of a mariage counsellor
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