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Question
Posted by: Confused | 2004/11/01

Loosing faith in MEN

Where can one find a good brother,a faithful man I seem to be having bad luck with men, can't hold on to them jsut don't really know what to do. My current boyfriend thinks i'm a wife material but still has a girlfriend on the side, steady girlfriend i must add. Don't really feel good about myself knowing that i'm with someone else's man. On top of that he wants me to relocate with him next year to Durban.. of which i find this very strange cause his steady girlfriend is also in Durban. I've lost the plot on this honestly i'm not sure where i'm going or coming ..just being taken for a ride.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I agree with the others--- stop allowing this crumb to use you. If he has a girlfriend on the side, maybe he thinks you're "wife material" but he is NOT, repeat NOT, "husband material". Don't think of going to Durban, away from your personal support system and family, and more at the mercy of his selfishness. Don't know if you're coming or going ? Simple. Just tell him that you are GOING.

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: Flash | 2004/11/01

Why accept to be second best??? This man is playing you for a fool and you are allowing him. Yu say he has a steady girlfriend but you accept him like that? You sound very desperate and men abuse women with such low self esteem. Move on, leave him with his steady girlfriend. Mind you, AIDS is real, this man is probable sleeping with both of you without condoms (they aint 100% protection either).
You deserve better

Reply to Flash
Posted by: Shaun | 2004/11/01

Hi Confused,

Please know that I have no intention of hurting or offending you what-so-ever, but do you notice something very important here???

You are being taken for a ride... Why??? Because you're allowing this to be done to you!!!

It is possible to be nice, but not to the detriment of yourself & your well-being.

I think you might have given away too much of yourself, therefore you may feel like he seems to be in control. Re-take the control of your life, just because it's YOUR LIFE, & you decide where to go & what to do with it!!!

Take care,
Shaun

Reply to Shaun
Posted by: TW | 2004/11/01

Dont loose faith - you havent found the right one thats all...
About relocating that what seems to be a huge mistake esp if he is being unfaithful and the his ex is there...

There are some wonderful men out there you jsut need to find the right one...let him relocate... for all you know maybe he leaves you there all alone nto knowing anyone. A big decision in moving shouldnt be based on a relationship ...its about whats right for you :)

Let him go and see how you feel before following him too...take time to think about things...Its not something you can quickly decide! And he must realise that.

Reply to TW

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